This is my first post and I have decided to write on being young in recovery, and relating it to the MTV documentary series “Gone Too Far” a project started by the late DJ AM . This series really hits home for me. Being twenty-two and having just about a year clean, this show follows young addicts in active addiction, as DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, in his journey to lead them into recovery. It is tragic that in the midst of this project, Goldstein himself fell to the disease of addiction and relapsed and lost his life after nine years of sobriety. His death has shown the power of the beast, and how easily one can fall back into the grips of addiction.

Watching shows about addiction can sometimes really bother me. I don’t know if it is that I see myself so perfectly in this active addicts, or if my disease thrives on the using taking place. I remember to say a prayer and thank my Higher Power for the gift of desperation, because without it I truly believe many of us would not make it to these rooms. I know at least for me, without feeling completely empty I would have never wanted to feel even a little full.

This show provides a true realistic view of the struggle of addiction and how it is truly hard for people like me, young kids to really want to get clean. I know for myself at least, there is a stigma that my generation has created that we use get messed up to celebrate things, and that drinking and partying is an everyday normal occurance. This is where I find it hard to want to become a productive member of society. How are we supposed to stay clean and become productive members of society, when our society goes completely against what we have to fight against to stay alive in this world. Am I the only one that feels this way? Like I know for me, when all of my friends and myself went to college, partying and drinking on the weekends was expected. I think that is a really hard thing to get past that makes it hard for the younger people to get clean and stay clean.

When it comes to the point of desperation, like you will find with Amy in the first episode of “Gone Too Far”, being young and having pressure and support from families makes it somewhat easier to get clean. I find that the hard part is being able to be 22, and have the greater majority of my age group going to bars on the weekends and drinking before football games. For me that was how my life was until I began to use drugs. I had to loose a lot of things, destroy many relationships to get to the point where I was either going to die, or I had to do something. I can imagine that for many young addicts this choice doesn’t come until we are so scared of life and for our lives that we have to do something. My hardest struggle isn’t craving heroin anymore; it is having to watch as my old friends can get drunk on the weekends, and celebrate holidays with a glass of wine. I had friends who used certain drugs just about the same as me, but I stole my mother’s jewlery for it, where they stopped.

After watching this episode of “Gone Too Far”, I really remember where my journey in using took me. It began with the drinking, then the smoking, then the snorting, then the shooting. I couldn’t stop, and as much as I want that social life associated with partying, my life is far too precious for me to risk it. I can definitely thank intherooms.com for giving me a place to find other people like myself, who are young and struggling with the idea of being completely clean and sober for the rest of our lives. What do you guys think?? Catch ya next time San Diego.