November 10
Fear Or Faith?

“No matter how far we ran, we always carried fear with us.” Basic Text p. 14

For many of us, fear was a constant factor in our lives before we came to Narcotics Anonymous. We used because we were afraid to feel emotional or physical pain. Our fear of people and situations gave us a convenient excuse to use drugs. A few of us were so afraid of everything that we were unable even to leave our homes without using first.

As we stay clean, we replace our fear with a belief in the fellowship, the steps, and a Higher Power. As this belief grows, our faith in the miracle of recovery begins to color all aspects of our lives. We start to see ourselves differently. We realize we are spiritual beings, and we strive to live by spiritual principles.

The application of spiritual principles helps eliminate fear from our lives. By refraining from treating other people in harmful or unlawful ways, we find we needn’t fear how we will be treated in return. As we practice love, compassion, understanding, and patience in our relationships with others, we are treated in turn with respect and consideration. We realize these positive changes result from allowing our Higher Power to work through us. We come to believe – not to think, but to believe – that our Higher Power wants only the best for us. No matter what the circumstances, we find we can walk in faith instead of fear.

Just for today: I no longer need to run in fear, but can walk in faith that my Higher Power has only the best in store for me.

Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105

That’s what it is – belonging! After a session of meditation I knew that the feeling I was experiencing was a sense of belonging because I was so relaxed. I felt quieter inside, more willing to discard little irritations. I appreciated my sense of humor. What I also experience in my daily practice is the sheer pleasure of belonging to the creative flow of God’s world. How propitious for us that prayer and meditation are written right into our A.A. way of life.

MY MIND: These two meditations fit my life perfectly today, as they usually always do. Last night I was at a meeting, and that sense of belonging really felt apparent. Like I felt apart of, and it’s not that I have never felt that before, but last night I really felt something. It could be God working in the rooms showing me that this really does work. I also know that fear may have been preventing me from really feeling that previously. I am afraid that people will get too close and not like what they see, I am afraid that people will leave, and fear just runs my life when I live in it. I have learned since being in recovery how to live in faith, not fear. I have to just trust that God has put things in my life and does not give me more than I can handle. I cannot live in fear, because that is where my disease thrives. I am weak when I live in fear, my disease tells me that this is how it is, and I have to be scared of life. Today I can live in faith, and trust in God that this is how life is.