A year ago exactly on THIS very night …

I ducked. Barely missed being
beaned by a hefty coffee mug. Cops called.
The bitter dregs of the mashed up putrid
marriage, thrown in the trash. Barely six
months sober, recovering skin still pink and
raw from amniotic fluid flowing out of the womb
of early sobriety.

Emerging from the abyss of hell; this childbirth
was a bitch. The HARD decision. The one that would
change life forever. Get the fuck out I said. NOW.
The proverbial antichrist; kicking my computer,
bashing windows, his fingers remained pried in
my skin until the day I went and filed the
order that “protected” my safety.

In retrospect, this song represents that night.
Coming down the birth canal face first, NOT
wanting to go out into the new cold world.

LABOR PAINS … it hurts … it fucking hurts.
It is a good pain. A clarifying wash of blood and
salt and the bread of new life. I suckle at the
milk laden bosom of things greater than me and I am
fulfilled. Blinking at the light of realization, I wail for
the hurt of it all. “Feed me” cries, “change me” cries,
“hold me” cries … all the mewling of a pink cherubic
babygirl. Oh won’t someone love this bundle of sorrow?
I raise the babygirl and hold her to my breast. It is
enough.

It is done. I am reborn, the second coming of Amy.

*hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, halleeeeluuujah*

Amen to you … Amen to me.

Peace be with you also this Christmas.