Comments on: Sex… http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/ Addiction, Alcoholism, and Living in Recovery Wed, 16 May 2012 09:47:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Mike Logan http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-1809 Mike Logan Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:32:11 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-1809 I think Helen Fisher's work on the brain and love is very helpful, at least it made great sense to me, in regards to the male physiology of infatuation/love. And your post took me back to my early days, when I was hoping that I was attractive to the women in the program, and struggling with desire and steps and not knowing that there was a great deal more to know about my behavior/motives in regards to sex and relationship. Mike I think Helen Fisher’s work on the brain and love is very helpful, at least it made great sense to me, in regards to the male physiology of infatuation/love. And your post took me back to my early days, when I was hoping that I was attractive to the women in the program, and struggling with desire and steps and not knowing that there was a great deal more to know about my behavior/motives in regards to sex and relationship. Mike

]]> By: Rod D(rodd77) http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-1806 Rod D(rodd77) Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:36:24 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-1806 I have to say if you are open to others you can find someone outside the rooms. I met my wife online. We chatted quite awhile before meeting. I would say that in recovery the first three years were me, myself and I. I then dated women I met outside the rooms by choice. I have only dated someone in the rooms once. She had a different home group. We just were not enough alike. I enjoyed the sex and so did she( at least I think so). We ended it as friends. Sex is fun, but it is not the answer i.e. the solution. I used the stuff on page 70 in the BB. I have found that I enjoy sex a whole lot more now than I used to. I enjoy thinking about it, laughing about it, hearing about it, haha. Truly it is more enjoyable now. Thanks, Rod I have to say if you are open to others you can find someone outside the rooms. I met my wife online. We chatted quite awhile before meeting. I would say that in recovery the first three years were me, myself and I. I then dated women I met outside the rooms by choice. I have only dated someone in the rooms once. She had a different home group. We just were not enough alike. I enjoyed the sex and so did she( at least I think so). We ended it as friends. Sex is fun, but it is not the answer i.e. the solution. I used the stuff on page 70 in the BB. I have found that I enjoy sex a whole lot more now than I used to. I enjoy thinking about it, laughing about it, hearing about it, haha. Truly it is more enjoyable now. Thanks, Rod

]]> By: Rod D(rodd77) http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-1807 Rod D(rodd77) Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:36:24 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-1807 I have to say if you are open to others you can find someone outside the rooms. I met my wife online. We chatted quite awhile before meeting. I would say that in recovery the first three years were me, myself and I. I then dated women I met outside the rooms by choice. I have only dated someone in the rooms once. She had a different home group. We just were not enough alike. I enjoyed the sex and so did she( at least I think so). We ended it as friends. Sex is fun, but it is not the answer i.e. the solution. I used the stuff on page 70 in the BB. I have found that I enjoy sex a whole lot more now than I used to. I enjoy thinking about it, laughing about it, hearing about it, haha. Truly it is more enjoyable now. Thanks, Rod I have to say if you are open to others you can find someone outside the rooms. I met my wife online. We chatted quite awhile before meeting. I would say that in recovery the first three years were me, myself and I. I then dated women I met outside the rooms by choice. I have only dated someone in the rooms once. She had a different home group. We just were not enough alike. I enjoyed the sex and so did she( at least I think so). We ended it as friends. Sex is fun, but it is not the answer i.e. the solution. I used the stuff on page 70 in the BB. I have found that I enjoy sex a whole lot more now than I used to. I enjoy thinking about it, laughing about it, hearing about it, haha. Truly it is more enjoyable now. Thanks, Rod

]]> By: sassysobergirl http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-1481 sassysobergirl Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:17:16 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-1481 deborah ... the only way (in my experience) to make this right is to simply clean up your side of the street dear. which it sounds like you've done ... the person who you might need to make amends to is yourself. don't be so dang hard on you dear ... i mean really ... we all want love and to be loved ... we don't always do everything right ... and you are precious material girl ... never to be given away for free. keep the focus on you and remember that everything heals with time. sometimes redemption comes from within. be well. deborah … the only way (in my experience) to make this right is to simply clean up your side of the street dear. which it sounds like you’ve done … the person who you might need to make amends to is yourself. don’t be so dang hard on you dear … i mean really … we all want love and to be loved … we don’t always do everything right … and you are precious material girl … never to be given away for free. keep the focus on you and remember that everything heals with time.

sometimes redemption comes from within. be well.

]]> By: deborah r http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-1479 deborah r Tue, 08 Mar 2011 04:00:35 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-1479 I think I messed up. I seduced him with meals talked him up then accepted the invitation Now he doesn't call. My sponsor said dont take it personal.I fully accept my responsibility for my actions. Now how do I go back to the beginningof this mess and make it right???/can I make it right with him(he will have 1 yr 3/24/11)start over with a clean slate what yall I do love him for the good and the bad. Not looking for marriage just redemption is there any for me??? HELP I think I messed up. I seduced him with meals talked him up then accepted the invitation Now he doesn’t call. My sponsor said dont take it personal.I fully accept my responsibility for my actions. Now how do I go back to the beginningof this mess and make it right???/can I make it right with him(he will have 1 yr 3/24/11)start over with a clean slate what yall I do love him for the good and the bad. Not looking for marriage just redemption is there any for me??? HELP

]]> By: Will http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-787 Will Wed, 27 Oct 2010 15:04:39 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-787 Swapping from putting something in my body for a head change to putting your body in something for a head change is really not a good solution. The first three years i was in recovery I developed my sex addiction. "Chicks" became my drug of choice. I am so thankful to God that I my eyes were opened! I no longer use the amazing gift God gave us (sex) as a drug. Today I do not objectify women and I believe God is growing me in ways that would not be possible if I were still stuck in acting out on my selfish desires. I am a long way from where I want to be but I have come a long way too. I like who I am today and I KNOW God is with me in all my struggles. I think if a person has come to a place that they are in recovery, but continue to "fix", they may want to seek God more and pray for courage, strength, and wisdom on the matter! God has great plans for us all, it's up to us to seek what they are. GBU Swapping from putting something in my body for a head change to putting your body in something for a head change is really not a good solution. The first three years i was in recovery I developed my sex addiction. “Chicks” became my drug of choice. I am so thankful to God that I my eyes were opened! I no longer use the amazing gift God gave us (sex) as a drug. Today I do not objectify women and I believe God is growing me in ways that would not be possible if I were still stuck in acting out on my selfish desires. I am a long way from where I want to be but I have come a long way too. I like who I am today and I KNOW God is with me in all my struggles. I think if a person has come to a place that they are in recovery, but continue to “fix”, they may want to seek God more and pray for courage, strength, and wisdom on the matter! God has great plans for us all, it’s up to us to seek what they are. GBU

]]> By: ryan_c http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-418 ryan_c Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:10:09 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-418 I enjoyed reading your article. It was well thought out, honest and to the point. You brought up some good points..where do we meet potential mates outside of the rooms?..examine our motives..being honest with ourselves. Between work, meetings and service work, I don't have time to do much of anything else. Plus, it would be nice to find a woman that strives to become more self-aware/spiritual like some of those that I meet in recovery. It is a as you put it..a slippery slope..the women I grow to respect and trust, have become my good friends, and I don't want to take the chance of complicating those friendships. So what is a guy to do? I enjoyed reading your article. It was well thought out, honest and to the point. You brought up some good points..where do we meet potential mates outside of the rooms?..examine our motives..being honest with ourselves. Between work, meetings and service work, I don’t have time to do much of anything else. Plus, it would be nice to find a woman that strives to become more self-aware/spiritual like some of those that I meet in recovery.
It is a as you put it..a slippery slope..the women I grow to respect and trust, have become my good friends, and I don’t want to take the chance of complicating those friendships. So what is a guy to do?

]]> By: suzy_m http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-332 suzy_m Sat, 15 May 2010 11:31:17 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-332 Thank you so much for saying what i need to hear. I have been friends with this guy from the rooms and i feel like i want somthing more, but im not sure. Thank u for reminding me to check my motives, be honist, and to make them wait :) Thank you so much for saying what i need to hear. I have been friends with this guy from the rooms and i feel like i want somthing more, but im not sure. Thank u for reminding me to check my motives, be honist, and to make them wait :)

]]> By: jose maldonado http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-296 jose maldonado Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:51:53 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-296 that was really good and kept my attention til the end, great stuff. as a male in recovery and just coming back into the rooms amazingly i find my brothers finding it hard to deal with the topic of impotency as shared in the BigBook A/A. sometimes i'm told i'm too honest or to forward... eitherway, i appreciate all that you shared that was really good and kept my attention til the end, great stuff. as a male in recovery and just coming back into the rooms amazingly i find my brothers finding it hard to deal with the topic of impotency as shared in the BigBook A/A. sometimes i’m told i’m too honest or to forward… eitherway, i appreciate all that you shared

]]> By: sassysobergirl http://iloverecovery.com/2010/02/19/sex/comment-page-1/#comment-224 sassysobergirl Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:45:16 +0000 http://iloverecovery.com/?p=453#comment-224 *curtsy* why thank you good sir =) *curtsy* why thank you good sir =)

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