Sponsor: (1) One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship, or probation. (2) One who vouches for the suitability of a candidate for admission. (per dictionary.com)

Call me everyday.  You can only talk to so and so.  Pigeon. Baby. Newbie. Sit down and shut up. Get clean or die motherfu…. yeah we all know that phrase.  Take the cotton out of your ears and shove it in your mouth. No you can’t date now. Do this, do that, listen or die. Yes I’ll pick you up for meetings. Call me anytime. I’ll go to court with you. You need anything? Let’s get down and pray together. You’re not alone. This has been my experience with that issue. Let’s go get some coffee and talk this out. I can share my hope and strength with you.  How bout we get started on these steps?

You know I hear the word “sponsor” is not listed in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Not sure about the Basic Text of NA or other recovery programs, but after this I’m sure I’ll hear about it … LOL. I’ve searched a time or two hundred, but am thankfully not that anal retentive anymore.  I can say that I’ve not seen it, in it’s literal terminology.  So that leads us to the question of what is a sponsor?  Who are they and what do they do and what are their requirements?

I hear lotsa “opinions” on this as we all have I’m sure.  A sponsor must have a year, must have worked all the steps, must have boundaries (but not too many), isn’t a bank, not a taxi, isn’t a mommy or daddy or priest. Someone who will be there for you day or night, no matter what, will accept all your shit, clean up your messes, and hold your hand.  I could go on and on here but I’m thinking you get the idea. I hope. Some are valid and some just border on ridiculous.  But that’s just my “opinion”.

Being a sponsor sounds like a big responsibility.  I mean if I’m telling someone what to do all the time it’s very easy to get blamed when shit goes horribly wrong.  I believe people have their own answers.  That possibly our job as fellow human beings is to just be sounding boards and help people help themselves?  It seems to me that it’s easy to foster dependencies.  Meaning “I’ll save you” syndrom. That always ends up badly.  Carry the message not the mess inserted here.

To hold out a hand of welcome. To share experience, strength, and hope aka … how did I work the steps, deal with life on life’s terms, learn to live again, et cetera et cetera.  Sponsorship is not ownership, it’s humility personified and not telling someone WHAT to do but sharing what YOU did … to get better.  The choice is ultimately up to the individual.  We are responsible to be there with outstretched hand.  This drunk’s opinion is that hand is not to be used to smack or scold, but to welcome others in from the cold.  Simply to share … what I was like, what happened, and what I’m like now.  Everything else is simply gravy.