Don’t take yourself too damn seriously. ~ Rule 62 (1)

Gettin’ “fired up” – panties in a twist, knickers in a knot, boxers in a bunch,  you get the idea. Namely, we’re not that important wrapped up in a nice pretty humility bow.  It’s very easy to get all tangled up in the drama of everything (just ask your local GSR or attend a large homegroup meeting sometime).  Obviously this applies to all sorts of mental maladies: getting angry at imagined slights, being hypersensitive of criticism, being the “ethics police”, et cetera et cetera.

At work and meetings, over an ethernets cable, hell even at the grocery store;  people are pretty much the same. Wandering around in their own bubble of self and awash in their own lives;  they focus on their own perceptions.  What most other people see is just a tiny bit of the equation.  Recovery folk are taught to not be self centered, hence the idea that everything is NOT about me. That is not a natural human reaction most times.  Society teaches one uppism and look out for yaself and it’s all about meeeeeeee baby.  That’s not a bad thing in and of itself.  It has to tempered with some humility however. Because if I took everything personal that was said TO me or ABOUT me … I’d be sunk for sure. Trust me … I have hecklers. As my dude DD says, a “shit ton” of em’. That’s k with me today, makes for good ego deflation.

If there are 100 people in a room and 99 like you and one doesn’t, what do ya do?  Yeah I know that most of you will say “I don’t care. blah blah”.  But I’ve seen (and done) that show where I act like I don’t care … but act out showing that I do.  Sarcastic remark, a joke, confronting the person directly in the spirit of “boundaries”… hahaha. All a reaction. Just did it yesterday as a matter of fact. Got heckled and went all joke-sy and sarcastic. It passed quickly but I still reacted. And so did my friends (god love em). And really what if that one person who you thought didn’t like you, just had really bad gas? Hey that shit’s painful.  Causes all sorts of weird faces. Just sayin’. And then there could be people who pretend to like you but don’t? OMG the possibilities are endless.

The opposite of feeling is apathy. I don’t think it’s possible to not care at all.  It doesn’t say don’t take yourself seriously at all, just not too damn much.  I do however, need to check my reactions. It’s normal to have hurt feelings sometimes, it’s what I do with it that counts. Not everything should hold the same “weight” to cause reactions. I don’t like to knee jerk today. Pretty much willing to go to any lengths to attempt to keep my personal sense of karma calm.  It’s about gettin’ busy and takin’ a good long look at me.

Is this a reliable source? Is this person close to me? Do they know me at all? Is their observation grounded in truth? How did I react and why? Was I being selfish, self centered, dishonest, or afraid? (hmmm sounds interestingly close to a 4th and/or 10th step).  What condition is my condition in?

How much of other folks stuff has NOTHING to do with me? My god that’s ego. *gulp* Imagine this for a hot minute. Okay ya ready? People have their own lives with their own issues and normally are way too damn busy  to give two hoots bout’ what I’m doing.  Contrary to popular belief, YOU does not equal universe. How many people know you well enough to make a qualified judgment? If a random passer by makes a snide comment about the stupidity of blondes (ahem) does that have the same effect as a close friend calling me stupid?  Lord I’d hope not.  It’s all in the EVIDENCE.  Just the facts Miss. Now I do understand that this is a simplistic view, buy my book when it comes out for more on the subject (haha).

Gauge the importance of the situations around you. Take inventory of your reactions. Really look at how you handle situations that “used” to baffle you. I’mma writing fool. I write inventories about my inventories. I dig finding out the “why” of why I do … what I do. Armed with directions from recovery textbooks and the kindness of patient people not to mention a thicker skin, I’m able to not take myself “too” damn seriously.  Duck in water baby. Let it roll off ya back.

(1) Page 149 of the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions published by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.  (for all you history type folks yes this was originally used in reference to tradition four as a promoter wanted AA to build a  “a great big alcoholic center” using other people’s money. The deal went sour and the experience became a lesson in humility. whew. there. covered.)