Purity is the absence of impurity in a substance or abstinence from vices and/or abundance of virtue.

Yeah I’m doin’ a four absolutes thing.  Oxford group trickle in – to recovery groups worldwide. Written on a poster on a wall of a meeting hall … Honesty, Purity, Unselfishness, and Love. I’ve hit on love (sorta), unselfishness (a lotta), and honesty (a smidge).  This word purity gives me a proverbial shiver though.  What does pure mean to you? Innocence, virginal, without taint or stain or mar? I don’t know bout’ you all … but being in recovery usually equals somewhat of a sordid, seedy past.  Essence of impurity equals dope fiend drunk in active “IMMA USE” mode.  Not making healthful, “pure” choices is sorta part of the whole show.  Unless purely sickening counts.

Purity in thought and deed? The blondes at the nape of my neck stand up and salute when this word meanders through my brain.  How exactly does one go about obtaining this ideal? Truly there are many schools of thought.  Some go the high and holy route; there is absolutely not a thing wrong with this but,  it’s not for everyone.  Church and spirituality melded into an ideal that can bring some peace to the turmoil.  A religious standard to look towards as an example of how to achieve the lack of stains on the purity smock.  If it works for you then thank the lord(s) and praise hymnal in aisle twelve please. I’m not even kidding – this can be a beautiful thing for some.

Others vote for positive self change through the actions of the 12 steps.  Still others believe there is no god consciousness to look to and define purity through ways and means that are sweet as molasses for themselves.  As for me … I’m not even sure what purity even is sometimes.

I do however know the idea of my highest thought.  That to be what others would call “pure” can be linked to that.  Eternal kindness and loving compassion towards my fellow man and woman and children and cats and … and … and… well you get the idea.  Simply put, like a wise ole Lama of the Dalai spoketh … “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.” We can get into the semantics of what’s helpful and what’s not. Let’s not. For once let us just be content with “How can I be the kindest person I can be?”

We are a population of judgments … us addicted type folks. Seems to be a common denominator within the bars, house of dope, and even recovery romper rooms.  Judgin’ good-bad, right-wrong, yadda-yadda.  Imagine what it would be like if all that double-speak stopped.  For just one moment.  Simply ceased.  Who gives a hoot bout “look at how she’s dressed” or “he isn’t workin a program” or “my sober is better than yours” or even “my sponsor can kick your sponsor’s ass”.

Better yet stopped the judgment game on myself.  Maybe for one time just say something like … “this isn’t workin’ so well for me. hmmm. I think I shall change it”.  Lotta’ times we’ll do the ole’  “oh my god what a dumbass I am, worthless, stupid,  real piece of work. dammit. hope nobody noticed THAT.”  You know you’ve done it. Don’t lie or deny or belie the idea that ya have. Varying degrees yes … but there nonetheless.

All in all, absolute purity seems a bit of a reach for a group of folks who ate sketchiness for breakfast for many years no?  But I say (it’s my blog so I can say what I wanna) that purity is thought into action.  The thinking before you speak judge judy judgment style.  Even under the pure driven snow is some dirt.  Maybe the dirt is pure too. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not about pre- conceived conceptions; and that our job is to “purely” be the very best recovering person we can be. No matter what unlevel playing field we started from.   It’s a beautiful thing, pure magic, this recovery life.  This is my recovery cleansing; and I wanna stay purely clean from the maelstrom of gut level sick.  Pass the soap please … and can you wash my back?