Oh we love change so.  We just get to a point of being comfortable and wham! bam! thank you maam’! … the script gets flipped on us. Life is a lemon, sweetly sour, causing epic puckering of more than one orifice.  In a constant state of flux, we find ourselves ducking and dodging the bright yellow fruit. Wonder what would happen if we’d simply stop. And catch one or twenty?

Nothing is ever really constant, except this bastard called change.  First dearly loved sponsor told me 18 years ago when my 19 year old self asked what I had to do to stay sober; “All ya have to do kid … is change everythin.” Nice. No wonder I loved/hated her. She was nothing but a truth teller.

Best I can do is learn how to stop duckin’ and dodgin’ and perhaps stand tall. Be zen and take those lemons, snatch those bitches right outta the air.  Hell even “good” changes can make the strongest folk’s lips pucker. Just ask a groom the day before he gets married. Yeah. You KNOW what I’m talkin’ bout. Or a new house? New job? Pregnant? Yup. All epic changes. All needing calm fortitude to be gotten through.  Seems like, in my experience anyhow, that we can be so used to the “bad” that it becomes normal.  Almost as if something “good” happening is too much to bear.  Can’t have that hope you know.  The hope that maybe just maybe it’s gonna be okay.  Cause when it isn’t okay again … I’ll lose it.

That used to be the way things were. Now I work diligently to not ascribe judgments. Life is one way. And then … it’s another. The only way it becomes an issue is by the priority I place on it. As my ever wise father always says … “Kid. Nothing is different than it was five minutes ago. Except your brain chemistry.” Worry? What the hell for? What good does it do really? Waste of time and energy methinks.  Now planning? That’s an entirely different story.  Throw some good ole’ fashioned step work in there and talk to a sponsor type person or close friend about things; healthy perception and lemon meringue is sure to come.

I need folks to bounce off of. Just the way I’m made. Cannot exist in a vacuum and survive in a healthy manner. Stark raving crazy would be most likely.  So when change happens … as it ALWAYS does; it’s time to get busy baby.  My dearest wish is to become as water and flow in and out of the rocks of life, perhaps leaving a mark … perhaps not. But flowing nonetheless. Much better than I used to be; crashing into every boulder. Shattering like a battering ram. Lemon rind and seeds everywhere. Sticky effin’ mess really. Path of least turmoil … peace de resistance’ (so to speak).  I make a conscious CHOICE when to juice my proverbial lemons today.

Sooooooo, when life gives ya lemons, throw em’ back at the fukker and move along people … simply move along.  Then again you could keep them and simply add a bit of sugar. Make a pie, or lemonade, or even a lemon tart.  But that may just be tooo optimistic for ya, perhaps we should start slowly. *grin*