We all get into jumbled messes… in our heads especially. Step 10 (yes I know I talk about this one ALL the time… shushit) tells me that I am to examine MY behavior. Yes – everyday. Yes – I can’t look at you anymore and blame you for my ‘stuff’. That’s all well [...]

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So I’ve been working my ever loving arse off this week, seeing as I’m all bound up (in an abdominal binder post surgery) in the house not able to do much of anything at all. I’ve been utilizing this down time to make a fiscal shift; pretty much Google AdSense isn’t cutting the mustard (or the dough) [...]

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    Who exactly ARE these “winners” that everyone keeps talking about sticking with??? I mean really… how do you know who to talk to or whom you should run the hell away from? People can appear to be anything they choose …  at first. Appearances are deceiving and talk is a cheap 10 dollar [...]

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My head is a liar. Yeah yeah we know. All our heads lie to us. True. But as the Big Book says we ‘learn to differentiate the true from the false’. How? Well by step work of course. Doing daily inventories and all that razamatazz (see your sponsor for further reference i’m sure he/she will [...]

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  It is … what it is. Twisting and turning like the python in Pandora’s Box, life has a way of just “happening”.  It can happen TO us or we can be an active member of this late night R rated game show.  Put the kids to bed Ma … “life’s” on again.  Flip the [...]

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  So. We get sober/clean.  We go to meetings, get a sponsor, do stepwork … all the necessaries.  What now? How in the sam hell do I have FUN and not use?  All my receptor sites, gut level instincts, behaviors, and attitudes have focused on using for so long that fun seems to be a [...]

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This isn’t going to be a long post… nor a witty one, or pretty or clever or any of my usual antics online. I’m sad. SAD. Sad for a friend in recovery who wrote me an email today telling me she had relapsed. There was once a time where I would’ve written a long dissertation [...]

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  I heard once at a meeting.  “I have eighteen inches from my heart to my head and right now it’s clogged with bullshit.” That was in the mid 90′s and I’ve never forgotten it.  Clogged with fear, desperation, self pity, anger, selfishness, and on and on and … on. (emphasis placed here if you [...]

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I wanna dance with somebody. One moment in time. I will always love you…   Yeah. That voice. Those songs. That girl. The girl I grew up listening to, the one that bookmarked first kisses and high school dances and sleepovers and and and… yeah. Beautiful voice and face and could’ve had a beautiful life. [...]

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I’m going on a trip.   Ever play that game as a kid? You know the one where you list the things you’re taking from the alphabet and have to remember them all? Yeah. I’m playing that game right now in my head. Except it’s not a game. I’m sorting through the idea (which made [...]

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