Waking. Agony. Not again. Not another groundhog day. I don’t wanna do this again. Suckin’ it up, bitch slap self for the sake of the babies. Play, learn, teach, grow … the only sunlight in the cave. Counting the seconds til the captain can come out to play. Three o’clock and whew and sigh and [...]

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Knee-jerk, react, physical gasp “oh no”, predictive thinking of the “what ifs” “OMG” and “other shoe dropping”.  Not sure if any of you can relate to this type of thinking, but I was raised by a master of reaction … aka Moms.  Everything was a catastrophe and this idea was flamed and fed by active [...]

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Boundaries. Slippery little suckers they can be. When to go, stay, say “Shup”, or comere … who knows what’s what? Just like anything else in recovery, it’s an issue of internal fortitude.  Giving a little may mean allowing an inch to become a marathon, while standing firm could spell certain catastrophe. I mean really. The [...]

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Spiritually absent or spiritually aware?  Prefacing this idea of spiritual or the conscience if you’d rather with no monikers of anything. No specific god speak or whatnot.  And certainly not the judgment pounding good/bad, right/wrong pundits in their habits of shame. What fits or what doesn’t, what works or what will not, what it is [...]

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she must like it. she stayed didn’t she? god you’d think a girl would learn? Not so easy. Not so quickly did the dynamite go BOOM. Like a flash before your eyes in slow motion; it happened.  Never knowing when the next unkind word would spout and knock you on your ass, before you even [...]

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A year ago exactly on THIS very night … I ducked. Barely missed being beaned by a hefty coffee mug. Cops called. The bitter dregs of the mashed up putrid marriage, thrown in the trash. Barely six months sober, recovering skin still pink and raw from amniotic fluid flowing out of the womb of early [...]

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