Like most people, I tend to stick with what I know.  What I’ve experienced. What is comfortable.  Even if it doesn’t look comfortable from the outside.  Matter of fact sometimes our lives (my life) can look like one big case study in psychosis based on past history. But it’s SAFE.  To me anyway. Been down [...]

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Know on this day … That you are enough. You are a member of recovery filled with dignity and grace. You CAN succeed. There is only one you in this world … you are a brilliant spark. No matter what … you are going to be okay. You matter; your voice, your presence, your existence… [...]

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I. Write. It’s what I do. My “thing”. My outlet. My fingers bleed ink. Now and again I write something that expresses the struggle of challenging my addictive mind.  This is called … sanctum. spherical magic swirling profundity perception essence clouded clarifier edification necessity blurred messages internally abound blocking sparkling incandescence. elusive contentment self stimulated [...]

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I went to a meeting last night. I needed a meeting. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that I “needed” a meeting.  Working hard to not get to that point has been a long time goal of mine. To achieve balance and an even keel mixture of recovery, support, family time, AA time, [...]

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I saw an epic quote the other day. Of course I can’t remember it verbatim but the gist was something like this… We’re always waiting for the next big thing to happen or to ‘get over’ whatever problem we’re having now.  Thinking that when ‘this or that’ happens life will really take off. What we [...]

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Keep it simple stupid. I hated that saying. Still sorta do. Meaning that I complicate things too much? Or that I’m not aware enough yet to do anything about the mess that is my life? Or just simply “don’t use and go to meetings”.  Important but blah. Being wordy as I am … I HAVE [...]

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I am a hypocrite. Hyper criticisms schism over the toll bridge of me.  Totally okay for you – to be you. Not for me. You can be vulnerable and sad and however else you need to feel. Not I. Nope. I must be strong and have it all together. Always. In all ways. When you [...]

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No matter what it is you’re trying to do, attempting a new goal is always difficult.  Let’s say for example … the NONdrinking/drugging thing.  It’s like being told to get on a new fangled contraption that you’ve never seen before.  For shits and giggles let’s call it a “bicycle”.  Right. Pronounced BI SI CALL. I [...]

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I’m dating. “In a relationship” according to my facebook profile page.  And I’m rather happy about that.  With whom? Well he’s amazing (gush gush swoon of course) AND in recovery. Sober/clean with all the sayings to go with. I love the idea of that.  Really I’ve only dated a few people outside of the rooms.  [...]

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I used to be a big mouth. Yes I know this may come as a shock to your system. Me? Big mouth, know-it-all, Big Book thumping, got all the answers chick.  Big surprise yes? I got sober at 19, started quoting the Big Book to anyone who would listen; post treatment and a stint in [...]

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