This isn’t going to be a long post… nor a witty one, or pretty or clever or any of my usual antics online. I’m sad. SAD. Sad for a friend in recovery who wrote me an email today telling me she had relapsed. There was once a time where I would’ve written a long dissertation [...]

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so. yeah. i don’t have a regular blog post tonight. but i do have some poetry. i know … *groan*. but this? this is important to me. and long. and to any of you who have suffered abuse by the hand of someone who says “i love you” you’ll get this. addiction often lends itself [...]

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I’m dating. “In a relationship” according to my facebook profile page.  And I’m rather happy about that.  With whom? Well he’s amazing (gush gush swoon of course) AND in recovery. Sober/clean with all the sayings to go with. I love the idea of that.  Really I’ve only dated a few people outside of the rooms.  [...]

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“But he has so much POTENTIAL!” “If only you knew him like I knew him, you would like him too.” “He’s not THAT bad. He had a bad childhood.” “You’re just trying to keep us apart.” Okay okay … and okay. Wow. Those are direct quotes from prior relationships early on in recovery, when my [...]

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I began pondering, as I’m known to do from time to time, about relationships. All of them. With others, self, or lack thereof.  How vulnerable can we safely be? I was told by a new friend via late night candle lit, gravelly voiced phone call that “I’m brash” and it appears that I “don’t care [...]

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Now I don’t know if you are anything like me. (Let’s hope not) But when it came to interpersonal relationships, it used to be that other peoples opinions counted a helluva lot more than mine did.  Didn’t even have to be someone close mind you; I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings … even if [...]

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Yup. I’m goin there. Epic “no-no”, cause of arguments, discussions, eye brow raises and 13th step jokes. Down this slippery slope I go (pun absolutely intended).  So … you wanna go for coffee after the meeting? Best recovery pick up line EVER!!! New in recovery … or even not so new. Sex can be a [...]

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hint, hint. wink. A little snide here, a bit of  self absorbed there, a smidge of jealousy, a whiff of demanding.  First getting to know someone whether ethernet induced or “real” life (lol what is real anyway?), you always have hints.  An inkling, if you will, of things to come. Prescient subconscious nudges of “WTF” [...]

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she must like it. she stayed didn’t she? god you’d think a girl would learn? Not so easy. Not so quickly did the dynamite go BOOM. Like a flash before your eyes in slow motion; it happened.  Never knowing when the next unkind word would spout and knock you on your ass, before you even [...]

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I sit. Still. Chaos in the form of three wriggly little bodies, surrounds me. Mini ninja’s hootin’ and hollerin’, playing dollies and dress up, cowboy princess butterfly fairies (yes all four at once).  I watch in awe at their innate sense of fairness, each in turn showing kindness towards their fellow fairies.  Don’t get me [...]

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