Jillian O
I'm a mid-30s professional woman, lover of urban places & spaces, and committed to changing my relationship with alcohol. For me, that means not drinking. I also find myself increasingly frustrated with just how alcohol-centric we have become. My blog and my Facebook page (Sober in Cbus) are my means of Perspective, Accountability, and Making a Stand. Alcohol and its pushers took over so much of my life before. But not anymore.

We Walk By Faith – By Jill O

To say that 2019 is off to an incredible start would be an understatement. More on that later. To say that the close of 2018 was a dizzying swing between fear and faith would also be an understatement. As I shared, I lost my job in the beginning of November. And that month, or the majority of it in retrospect, just truly sucked. So many old stories of shame and guilt and feeling like I deserved this “punishment” just completely overwhelmed me. I spent half of November just shut down, engulfed by fear. This wasn’t my initial response, though. Immediately following the job loss, while I was feeling so liberated, I had this idea that I would use this time of transition to get a lot of shit done, and I created detailed lists of things to do, and for the first few days I followed them. I was trying… Continue reading

Love Your Addiction, Love Yourself Practicing Radical Self-love – Jillian O

“Love your addiction, love yourself.” When I first read these words, they stunned me. It was a complete paradigm shift. Away from guilt and shame and pain, and towards love and forgiveness and well-being. These words were the sub-heading in one of my favorite recovery books, 30 Day Sobriety Solution, part of Day 4: The Forgiveness Solution (for me, this solution alone is worth buying the book!). I have said it elsewhere, and I will say it here, because I fundamentally believe it to be true: people in recovery (whether sustained or cyclical) are some of the most empathetic, strongest, and bravest people I have ever met. Many have endured hundreds of indignities–big and small– while using and yes, perhaps even in going through a recovery process, especially if this process involved the criminal justice system. Some have hit a hard rock bottom, and too many have said goodbye forever to loved… Continue reading

Amends…….On The Flip Side – Jillian O

I don’t follow a 12-step program. I’ve been to AA meetings, several in fact, and I have received some benefit from going to them. But AA never resonated with me, for many reasons, and maybe I’ll lay those out in anther post…. But one thing has been swirling around in my mind lately… this idea of “amends”. This is a critical step in 12-step programs. And I get it. There are many, many things I regret–behaviors, decisions, and so on– that I most definitely would not have done, or not in the same manner or to the same degree, sober. And these regretted behaviors or decisions absolutely hurt people I love (at worst, and often deeply) or inconvenienced others (at best), and there’s a full spectrum in between. But in this time, I am feeling a need for balance. Because I am wondering why it is society and/or recovery programs… Continue reading