Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions—most notably sex, porn, and love addiction. An internationally acknowledged clinician, he frequently serves as a subject expert on human sexuality for multiple media outlets including CNN, HLN, MSNBC, The Oprah Winfrey Network, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and NPR, among others. He is the author of several highly regarded books, including “Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating,” “Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction,” “Sex Addiction 101: The Workbook,” and “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men.” Currently, he is CEO of Seeking Integrity LLC, being developed as an online and real-world resource for recovery from infidelity and sexual addiction. For more information or to reach Mr. Weiss, please visit his website,, or follow him on Twitter, @RobWeissMSW.

    Are You Ready for Step Eleven? – By Robert Weiss

      Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step eleven, like step ten, is not a step that is worked once and then forgotten. Instead, it is part of an ongoing (usually daily) ritual of recovery. That said, recovering addicts often find “prayer” and “meditation” to be somewhat baffling concepts. And some, especially those who began the recovery process as agnostics or atheists, may still be struggling with the idea of having a higher power at all. For these reasons (and many others), step eleven can be a difficult one to work. If you find yourself struggling with this step, take heart in the fact that you are not alone. Even the most devoutly spiritual and/or religious members of twelve-step recovery groups sometimes lose their… Continue reading

    How to Work Step Ten Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

      Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Step ten is, in many ways, an ongoing version of steps four through nine. With step ten we take a quick inventory of the day or a specific situation, identify our part in any problems, and, when necessary, we self-correct and quickly make an amends. Hopefully, having worked steps four through nine already, we are familiar with this “inventory, assessment, change, and amends” process. The difference here is that step ten inventories deal with the present rather than the past, and the schedule for self-correction and amends is “as soon as possible” instead of waiting until we are spiritually fit. For most of us, step ten is a very unnatural behavior. As active addicts we rarely (if ever) engaged in this type of self-examination. In fact, we avoided it like the plague. Even in recovery, many… Continue reading

    Sanity and Sobriety in the Holiday Season – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT

    For recovering addicts, the holidays are a dangerous time of year. At the very least, we must deal with holiday expectations for love and connection and merry making. Often, we think our holidays should look like a Normal Rockwell painting, and when that doesn’t happen we feel disappointed, pressured, anxious, not good enough, and maybe even a little depressed. In the midst of all this stress, it’s easy to become a little crazed and to lose sight of what’s most important in our lives: our sobriety. Sadly, even addicts who are firmly grounded in recovery can revert to old patterns during this supposedly joyful season. When this happens, we need to pause and remind ourselves that without sobriety, there is zero chance of connecting with our loved ones and enjoying the holidays the way we’d like. If you’re worried about staying sober through the holiday season, it is useful to… Continue reading

    Are You Worried About Step 9? – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

        Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. From step four onward, the twelve steps are primarily concerned with interpersonal relations—how you interact in and with the wider world. In a nutshell, you are asked to: Look back on your life and see where you have caused problems for yourself and others. Do what you can to repair the damage you have done. Live differently in the future. Steps eight and nine are the middle portion of this procedure—doing what you can to repair the damage you have done. After working step eight, you should have a list of people you have harmed, and you should have a plan for and be willing to make amends to them all. If so, you are ready to work step nine. Step nine should not be undertaken without first consulting your… Continue reading

    Overcoming Incest – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

    As a therapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues, I work with a lot of clients who have suffered (and sometimes committed) incest. Most of the time, they feel like they’re the only person who has ever experienced this. They feel deep shame, and they only reluctantly will discuss what happened. That is why a book like Donna Jenson’s recently published Healing My Life: From Incest to Joy is so important. This deeply personal memoir of incest and healing is incredibly powerful, mostly because it’s an honest account of the damage done by incest and the courage and persistence it takes to heal. With this book, Jenson chronicles the physical and spiritual steps she took to reclaim her life, never losing her sense of humor. Poignant, brave, and helpful, this memoir offers a much-needed testimony for anyone affected by incest. Jenson understands the pathway from pain to joy as well… Continue reading