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About Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert. He is the author of several highly regarded books, including “Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating,” “Sex Addiction 101,” “Sex Addiction 101: The Workbook,” and “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men.” Currently, he is Senior Vice President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health, creating and overseeing addiction and mental health treatment programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities. For more information please visit his website, robertweissmsw.com, or follow him on Twitter, @RobWeissMSW.

Working Step Eight Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. From step four onward, the twelve steps are primarily concerned with interpersonal relations—how you interact in and with the wider world. In a nutshell, you are asked to: Look back on your life and see where you have caused problems for yourself and others. Do what you can to repair the damage you have done. Live differently in the future. Steps eight and nine are the middle portion of this procedure—doing what you can to repair the damage you have done. To start, you compile a list of the people you have harmed, not forgetting to include yourself on the list. Reviewing your step four inventory is generally helpful when compiling this list. Most of the names on your step four list should also appear on your step eight list, but a… Continue reading

What are the Best Protective Software Programs for Recovering Sex, Porn, and Love Addicts? Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

    For sex, porn, and love addicts, digital devices can be dangerous, providing instant and seemingly endless access to porn, hookup apps, social media flirtations, webcam encounters, prostitutes, virtual reality sex games, and more. For this reason, any person hoping to recover from sex, porn, and/or love addiction absolutely must install a “parental control” software program onto his or her computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, and other digital devices. The best products offer both filtering and accountability. In other words, they block problematic content, while also providing useful reports to the addict’s accountability partner(s). At this time, the best products for recovering sex, porn, and love addicts are: Net Nanny. Net Nanny’s Family Protection Pass costs $59.99 per year for up to five devices, $89.99 per year for up to ten devices, and $119.99 for up to fifteen devices. The software is usable on almost all digital devices, including Windows,… Continue reading

Does Step Seven Require Belief in a Higher Power? – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

  Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. In steps four, five, and six we identified our characters defects and became willing to live without them. Step seven is the logical continuation of that effort, where we begin the process of actually ridding ourselves of these shortcomings. If you believe in a Higher Power, step seven is a relatively straightforward endeavor. You simply incorporate into your daily routine (prayer, affirmations, and whatever else it is that seems to work for you in your recovery) a request that your Higher Power remove your character defects. If there are shortcomings that are particularly irksome or problematic, it is helpful to specifically mention them. When you do this, your character defects tend to become less burdensome over time. If, however, you struggle with the concepts of God and Higher Power, step seven, like step three, might seem a bit daunting. You… Continue reading

Have You Forgotten What It Feels Like to Have Fun? – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Many recovering addicts become so focused on the work of recovery that they forget to have fun. Usually this is because their only real goal early in the process is staying sober. While this is an admirable objective, it doesn’t exactly provide them with direction and meaning. Because of this, when the shiny new adventure of recovery inevitably loses its luster, shame creeps back in and they have nowhere to turn for motivation. If this is the case for you, it may be time to ask yourself: “What are my goals beyond sobriety? Do I want to start dating? Do I want to join a softball team? Do I want to go on an exciting vacation? Do I want to write a bestselling novel?” And if you want those things (or anything else that seems fun but not directly related to recovery), it might be time to expand your horizons.… Continue reading

Step Six: Are You Really Ready? – Robert Weiss LCSW CSAT-S

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. The Alcoholics Anonymous authored book, The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, famously calls step six “the step that separates the men from the boys.” What the AA folks mean by this is that compiling a list of one’s character defects and then becoming completely, absolutely, and totally willing to let go of those defects requires a lot of fortitude, especially when some of those defects can be, in moderation, necessary, healthy, and/or enjoyable elements of life. The trick here is to realize that our life-sustaining natural instincts (for sexual congress, eating, security, and the like) are good things until they spiral out of control. In other words, it is only when these naturally instilled survival instincts begin to drive us blindly into regrettable behaviors that they become character defects. So if lust is ruining your marriage (because you… Continue reading