Sally S
Born in Yorkshire, raised on the little Island of Guernsey...I’ve always been a curious type of person. A bit of a nurturer...fascinated by people, cultures, nature and the world at large. My mother tells me my most frequently uttered word as a young child was “why?” and I was that kid on the beach that never lay on a towel catching rays but would spend my time turning over stones in rock pools to see what lived underneath. Having lived in a few countries and explored many more..I’m always humbled and perhaps oddly comforted by knowing that I’m just a tiny dot in a vast world of interconnected life. Forever evolving, forever changing. Addiction is a large part of my adult life..when active, it was a destructive force but the existential crisis it eventually led to is something I am now truly grateful for. I don’t know what lies around the corner but one thing I’m pretty sure of, life in recovery is for living

How Has Your Perception Shaped Your Life? – By Sally Stacey

  We each view the world through unique lenses of perception. These lenses are comprised of the meaning that we give to things, such as our life experiences, beliefs, cultural background, values and current feelings to name but a few. Gender, age, race and other criteria can also play a role. All these things act as filters, thus no two persons perception of reality is completely the same. It stands to reason therefore, that if you change your perception in someway, you can change your reality. Powerful stuff. Long before addiction occurs, our self-perception can be significantly tainted. Negative self-perceptions (often based on how we think others perceive us) can lead to feelings of inadequacy, being unattractive, unlucky, unlikeable and so on. Perception of others and happenings can also take on a life of their own. Any of these negative perceptions can lead us down the slippery path of addiction.… Continue reading

What Drives Those Wonderful Aha Moments? – By Sally Stacey

Have you ever tied yourself in knots trying to think of how to resolve a problem, then slept on it and woken knowing exactly what needed to be done? Or have you prayed for guidance in a situation and had the answer suddenly appear out of the blue by way of a thought, a nudge or a person? A God moment or a God shot perhaps? What about reading or hearing a concept that didn’t quite gel until you saw it in action or you experienced it…and then the penny dropped? Has exasperation ever been etched across your face as you searched the recesses of your brain for the name of a familiar song you’ve just heard but can’t remember…only for it to hit you between the eyes a couple of hours later? And what about anxiously wrestling with a delicate situation regarding someone…a child or a parent perhaps…only for… Continue reading

Addiction: Why Me? Why You? Why Not Them? – By Sally Stacey

A couple of years into recovery, I was on vacation back home on the small island where I grew up. I remember driving to my first AA meeting there, convinced that I would see half the friends I had known in my twenties…it would become a fun reunion of sorts. I envisioned me saying “Hey, fancy seeing you here!” whilst smiling sheepishly, coffee in hand. Not so 🙂 It was an enjoyable meeting for sure but I didn’t know anyone. Furthermore, I didn’t recognise a single person at any of the other five or so meetings I went to whilst there. What had happened to all my drinking buddies? We had all been as crazy as each other back in the day. Surely I couldn’t have been the only one to develop addiction issues. Why me? Why any of us? Why not them? For years, researchers have been searching for… Continue reading

Hitting bottom – By Sally Stacey

Everybody has to bottom out in their addiction before attaining a life in recovery and reach a point where recovery becomes more attractive than continuing down the road of active addiction. Just how that point is reached can vary from person to person. The first way that comes to mind is where the pain of continuing in active addiction becomes intolerable and something has to give…to stop or to continue to the bitter end. Another way would be where an event triggers a sudden realisation that something has to change…a car accident whilst under the influence perhaps. Or the decision is instigated by others…an intervention, a court order or a spousal ultimatum…stop, or we’re done! The guilt regarding the kids. Then again, it could simply come down to a quiet realisation that there must be more to life than living everyday chained to an addiction. There are many roads leading… Continue reading

Would You Rather be Right or Happy – By Sally Stacey

  The title is a well known phrase, something I’ve asked myself in situations many a time and one I often hear being contemplated by others. “Happy” is often the first thought when responding to this question, especially in current times where so much emphasis is placed on seeking happiness at every available opportunity. Life is too short for anything else. But there have been studies done which show that the more value people place on happiness, the less happy they become. Interesting stuff. A study was performed in New Zealand which caught my eye where a husband, who had expressed his preference to be happy rather than right, agreed to agree with every opinion and request his wife made without complaint. The wife was not privvy to the details of the study outside of monitoring her own quality of life. Needless to say, things went rapidly down hill with… Continue reading