I'm a recovering ACA from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family on the east coast with almost 4 decades of 12 Step and other healing work. The work has been painful, at times, but extraordinarily worthwhile. Although I can never remove the taint of being an ACA, I can use the unique portfolio of strengths it cultivated in me along with modern-day awareness to lead a wondrously fulfilling, courageous and exuberant life...one that I co-create consciously on a daily basis and not one that I hide from in frozen panic.

Days in The Life of An Adult Child – Wellness

Every time I re-awaken to the notion that self-care is an important part of managing the three-legged healing “stool” of denial-busting, mourning and tender re-parenting I seem drawn to immediate, quick fixes. These fixes are likely a leftover of the family’s immigrant legacy of learned helplessness, victimhood, ignorance, superstition and catastrophizing. My parents on both sides were first generation and my maternal, illiterate, but masterful, grandmother lived with us. There was no problem so small that it couldn’t be met, by the women, with fist biting hysteria, eye rolls that would make Eddie Cantor envious, and repeated threats of “taking the gas pipe.” They all modeled thoughtless reaction, and I think I was a straight A student. So, naturally, recovery wellness meant instantaneous cure to me. I would put my whole focus on it, and make miracles happen. Since I was a runt preemie of only 4 pounds at birth,… Continue reading