Less Pushing More Allowing – Nicola O’Hanlon

I’d like us to think about that concept for a moment and consider what it means. We so often that we much push for what we want, work harder and faster, put all our effort into out goals until we have nothing left to give. But is that really the best way to achieve what we want?

Let’s do a short visualization to help us connect with what Less Pushing and More Allowing means to you. It may be different for each person.

Sit comfortably in your chair. Feel your feet flat on the floor, back against the chair, shoulders relaxed. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable for you. Take a deep breath in through your nose until your lungs are filled to capacity, hold…….and let go out through your mouth. Do this breathing exercise three times. Now I want you to become very aware of yourself, and when I say yourself, I mean you that is inside the body. Get a sense of yourself. What is inside the body that is just you.

Now, think about something you want to achieve. Check in with your inner you and ask what it is you really want. Perhaps there is more than one thing, but just to help this visualisation, just pick one, maybe the thing you want most. Your inner you knows what that is.

Perhaps it is a new job or career, a new relationship or to improve the ones you have. Maybe to get healthier, or earn more money. Imagine yourself working hard for that thing. Striving and sweating and really making your mark on the world. You put every ounce of energy into obtaining this goal. Society says we must work hard hard hard for what we want. We must focus and zone in until we are exhausted. Push Push Push. You are so focused on this thing and getting it that you have little time in your life for anything else. It’s all about you and getting where you want to be. You anticipate the feeling of achievement when you get that thing. It drives you and motivates you. How does your body feel right now? Are your shoulders raised, are you grinding your teeth, is there tension all over your body, perhaps you have your fists clenched?

Now, we are going to consider obtaining that same thing but with a different mindset and feeling. Action is still required of course, after all you must signal to the Universe that this is really what you want. Correct action is symbolic and attracts that which we deeply desire. Take another deep breath, drop your shoulders back down and take a minute to notice where the tension has developed in your body. Take another deep breath and release that tension on the out breath. Notice how, that you inside, feels now?

Imagine yourself asking the Universe for that same thing as before. As you do, feel the receptive flow of energy seep through your body. The energy relaxes you. You feel a sense of trust and understanding, a deep knowing that everything is going to be just fine no matter what. Imagine yourself carrying out the same actions as before to obtain that thing you want, but this time, with a sense of calm and trust. Feel like you are being held up and supported through this task. It feels easier, lighter and way more enjoyable.

The anxious thoughts and tension are not present now like they were before. You finish the task at hand and leave it there unattached to the outcome. You did your best and you feel calm and secure in that knowledge. Continue to feel that flow of receptivity right through you from the Universe. Allow this energy to soak into every cell of your body. You are deserving of this help with obtaining your desires.

You notice with this new perspective that there is ample time for all the things in your life. You are present for your family and friends when they need you in mind, body and spirit. You have the energy for the mundane tasks such as house work and grocery shopping. You have time to consider your self-care and yet you are motivated to work on your goals. There is no force, no tension, no aggression, no fear. All is well. You are allowing.

Sit for a moment and notice how you are reacting to these two different paths to the same desired goal. Consider the Push Push Push and where that pushing action sends your desired outcome…….further away or closer? Now think about the second scenario, the relaxing into your desires, the flow of receptivity as you work with the energy instead of against it? Where do your desired outcomes sit now?

Which scenario is your preferred one?

When you are ready, let the imagery go. Start to move your toes and feet gently, tense and release the muscles in your legs, move a little in your seat….gently begin to roll your shoulders and move your head very gently from side to side. Wriggle your fingers and circle your wrists, shake your arms gently. Take another deep breathe into your tummy and open your eyes when you’re ready and come back into the room.

I would really love to hear your experience with this visualization and what you discovered. Please leave your comments and lets start a conversation.

 

Nicola O'Hanlon

About Nicola O'Hanlon

Meet our Editor-In-Chief, Nicola O'Hanlon. She created this website, along with the help of the InTheRooms team in September 2015. Her work has been published in several recovery magazines, including Recovery Today, In Recovery Magazine, AfterPartyChat.com, Psychology Today and Reach Out Recovery to name but a few. She has also had her work published in two Feminist anthologies and a book of personal recovery stories. Born and raised in Wexford, Ireland she still lives there with her two children, Christopher and Jessica. Her background is in healing through Massage Therapy, Reflexology and Sechiem Energy Healer. She has combined her professional and life experience and now coaches women on how to empower themselves. She runs the Womens Wisdom Healing Circle meeting, on InTheRooms.com every Sunday (Noon est 5pm UK & Ireland), which is a non program specific gathering of women seeking support, encouragement and healing. Already an expert on how not to live life she is a constant seeker of new and better ways of being. Nature is her Higher Power and she believes in magic, crystals and blames the phases of the moon for her multiple personalities.
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5 Comments

  1. Once in awhile I question why I write and share my inner most self. Then someone like you let’s me know the value of what I write and it gives me the strength and motivation to continue. My deepest condolences to you. I cannot begin to comprehend your loss. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment at this most difficult time in your life.

  2. Avatar
    micheal elwood and Kate brown, a lovely Irish women.

    Haven’t been to the InTheRooms site for quite some time, it really helps. My wife passed last November 13th and now I have the task of passing on her clothes and other stuff. Found a book of her poems the other day, after gathering clothes and stopped to read it. Stopped gathering then as well. Your exercise today will help me move forward with my new tasks. Kate was 64, I am 71 and we were married for 10 great year’s, both of us in long term recovery with AA.

    • Once in awhile I question why I write and share my inner most self. Then someone like you let’s me know the value of what I write and it gives me the strength and motivation to continue. My deepest condolences to you. I cannot begin to comprehend your loss. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment at this most difficult time in your life.

  3. As a born pusher, I LOVED this. So many decades of lists and yellow stickies and plans and spreadsheets. So many get-ups at 4 am, making sure it all fit in the one day. Day jobs and graduate schools. Sncker and Coke for dinner. I didn’t know another way. But when I look back on my life I see that all the miracles happened without my orchestration. GREAT ARTICLE !! Thanks very much Nicky.

    • Once in awhile I question why I write and share my inner most self. Then someone like you let’s me know the value of what I write and it gives me the strength and motivation to continue. My deepest condolences to you. I cannot begin to comprehend your loss. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment at this most difficult time in your life.

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