Why You Should Lie, Cheat & Steal – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

If you think successful people lie, cheat and steal, you may be right, but it may not be what you think.

Successful people take responsibility for the images they create and the things they tell themselves.

Right out of the chute, we each come with the greatest computer on the planet. As complex as our brains are, they are also very simple. Our brain responds to the pictures we make and the words we tell it.

Imagine you’re expecting your spouse to come home when you hear the door open. You’ve made a picture in your mind and have told yourself you know who’s coming in and are happy. You’ve interpreted the sounds and made it mean something pleasant (or if you don’t like that person you create a whole different image and begin to feel stress.) This is simply because of the pictures in your mind and the words you’ve told yourself.

We do this all day long, mostly below our level of consciousness as we are often operating on default. We tell ourselves all kinds of awful things and construct images in Technicolor to support and cement our fears:

“I’m going to bomb this test.  I’m terrified of this interview. I can’t cope because I’m anxious. My job is killing me. That woman will never talk to me.”

While we may not be able to control the thoughts that come into our head, we can control the language and the pictures and the meaning we give things.

Marisa Peer, one of the most influential and internationally renowned psychotherapists and hypnotists suggests we should LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL.

She says, we need to “lie to our minds, to cheat fear, so we can steal back our natural confidence.”

How do we lie to cheat fear?

When you are scared or excited your brain releases a cascade of hormones that are identical. What makes us feel scared versus excited is the story we tell ourselves. Our very words can change our fear to excitement.

What if instead of saying, “I’m terrified of this interview. I’m really nervous. ” You said, “I’m excited about this interview. I’m really thrilled.” This feeling in my stomach is excitement. ”

I’ve seen this happen with my clients who must undergo MRI’s. One woman had to reschedule her procedure 3 times despite getting anti- anxiety medication beforehand. Aside from being embarrassed and aggravated by the extra time she’d spent in failed attempts, she told me, “I can’t do it because, I feel like I’m going to die. I’m certain I’ll be trapped and everyone will leave me. I feel like it’s going to close in on me and crush me.”

When I helped her realize she was creating the images and therefore controlling them as well as the words she was telling herself, she was willing to experiment. She told herself she was at a “spa,” and this was a ”beauty treatment.” She pictured herself in a luxurious bed and focused on her breathing slowing it to the rate she remembered while being massaged. She told herself she was “comfortable and still.” She felt a burden lift when she easily completed her MRI and got her long awaited results.

Cheating fear has helped my clients who are undergoing radiation and chemo as well as the smaller issues like interviewing for a job.

What if you were willing to experiment with something small–like approaching a conversation with someone you’d like to meet? What if you told yourself, ”I’m interesting to talk to…….I’m fun and funny.” What if you pictured yourself having an easy playful conversation?

Your thoughts are yours to have or to change and if you are not getting the outcome you desire you can ask yourself, “What pictures am I making and what words am I using or telling myself to get the outcome I am getting?”

We know our thoughts control our feelings and our feelings control our actions and our actions create our results.

While there are many things that simply happen, what we make it mean, by the words we choose and the images we make, will have radical differences in the outcomes of our experiences.

Will you be willing to LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL to find the confidence that’s your natural birthright?

Make Believe~Make Belief Affirmation:  I choose only the words and pictures I want to create as my experience.

If you would like more help in achieving this, please contact me to set up a session.


About Tsgoyna Tanzman

For more than 20 years, Tsgoyna has been coaching a broad range of people, including those who’ve suffered traumatic brain injuries and catastrophic life events as well as healthy, smart, successful people who’ve been derailed or feel stuck. She likes to say, “You don’t have to have a brain injury to damage your brain, we do that with our limiting thoughts and negative beliefs.” Tsgoyna is an expert at helping women learn to coach themselves, so they can redefine and recreate their lives from an integrated, empowered and joyful state. She teaches women the tools and strategies to separate circumstances from thoughts & feelings, while gaining insight and choice into the actions they take. She supports women in releasing emotional baggage and limiting beliefs, setting goals and taking action to achieve them. Tsgoyna knows about addiction, codependence, alcoholism and the daily process of working a program as her husband is celebrating 25 years of sobriety since the intervention she arranged. Tsgoyna is a Speech/Language Pathologist, MA/CCC, Certified Life Coach, Mental Emotional Release® Therapist, Master Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming and a Certified Hypnotherapist. Additionally, she achieved a Level II certification in E.F.T (Emotional Freedom Technique). She has also been guest writer with 9 published pieces at the online magazine MORE.COM as well as having 15 stories published in Chicken Soup for the Soul ( in 15 different anthologies).
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  1. This makes so much sense its all about WHAT we tell ourselves our brains are so powerfuk=l they beleive what we tell them! Life is so simple if we make it so simple we have a choice complicate or simplfy!! thanks fo rthis!!!!

  2. Wow. I never looked at it like this! I may just give it an ‘experiment’ myself.

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