Ordinary World – By Gabe Rheaume

 

I have a chart of protocol that says,

“Let me be”

at the manic sweet spot.

When the world is rushing by

and my mind is aglow.

When I’m beautiful, and funny,

and everyone loves me.

Before I forget my illness brings unearthly joy

before I become paranoid and afraid

before the alcohol and drugs

before I become the madness of night.

Don’t take my happiness away

I just found it.

Don’t trade my paradise for a hospital bed,

I wouldn’t do that to you.

Don’t cage me in a prescription bottle.

Don’t intervene.

I will come back.

I would come back if I knew I left. Maybe I wouldn’t.

 

This is how it is

This is how I am…

Isn’t it?

 

I’m floating through the vibrant rich

landscape of the universe

experiencing color for the first time.

Don’t reel me back

to the grey world of ordinary life.

 

I close my eyes and I am infinite.

I am a giant star the galaxy gathers around.

I am the living moment of everything that ever was,

before I become nothing

before I am less than cosmic dust

before there is nothing magnificent

about me, or you, or the universe at all.

before I hurt myself to feel anything else

before I say goodbye to everyone

before I would do anything

to go back to my grey ordinary world…

which was never that grey to begin with

and was never very ordinary

and I can’t remember what­­­­ is what.

So I push myself to go on

because I know everything will be okay.

This is all temporary.

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About Gabriel Rheaume

Gabriel Rheaume is a word artist, tree lover, and a person in long term recovery. He has been published in print and various online sources. He is from Michigan and was born in 1982. Gabriel has a bachelor's degree in English from Wayne State University, in Detroit.
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9 Comments

  1. Avatar
    (DobBob) Nickname preferred. Donald Raish

    Powerfull Gabe. Thank you. New to this site, looking forward to this all.
    Take care & continue with your gift Please.

  2. This really makes me empathize with you. If only my son had made some connections like this before his overdose… 🙁

  3. Love this poem. Very profound & beautiful ❤️

  4. Beautiful poem 🙂

  5. sharing with my sister who is practically disabled at this point with mental illness..Thank you Gabriel from the depth of my heart.

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