Drinking: A Love Story – Chapter 1

A recovery friend and I had heard about a book called Drinking: A Love Story, written by Caroline Knapp.  As it suggests, it is a woman’s walk through alcoholism as a love affair, and how she had to remove herself from it.  My hope is to write a bit about each chapter and share that part of my story with you in conjunction. Chapter One is titled “Love”, and is the beginning of understanding how a casual relationship blossomed into a love affair and then a co-dependent relationship.  The author discusses how she first came to see alcohol as a way to deal with her insecurities and to fit in.  She talks about her early enjoyment around drinking in social situations and the progression of her drinking from casual to frequent to daily drinking.  The overriding thought in this chapter is her focus on how this could have happened to… Continue reading

AA Language – Does it Help or Hinder Recovery?

“My name is Damien, and I’m an alcoholic.” This is the conventional way to introduce oneself at a meeting of the fellowship. It bugs me. The very first time I said these words they were incredibly powerful and liberating — when I finally said them, my surrender was complete. But as my sober time increases, I’m growing more uncomfortable with saying these words. They’re not inaccurate. These words defined my drinking in the end. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines alcoholic as “affected with alcoholism” and alcoholism as “continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks.” But these words do not define me. These words focus on the problem rather than the solution. Every time I introduce myself at a meeting, I struggle with how to label myself. I wrestle with a few phrases in my head, more often than not, I default to using these words even though they irritate me.… Continue reading

Easy Does It – New Year Nutrition

It’s interesting that when I heard “easy does it” for the first time, it registered in my brain to mean – sit back and relax – there’s no hurry! The denial ran deep in my unconscious giving me permission to indulge in procrastination. My problematic thinking stemmed from many years of misconceptions. I was my own worst enemy, either in overt retaliation or covert destruction. I didn’t know I was stuck in a merry go round of self-deception. Anyone who tried to help me see the light, no matter how kind their approach couldn’t penetrate my justification armour. A wise woman once told me, when the intensity of my emotions were getting the best of me “Kathy – The Only Way to Change your behavior is to CHANGE your behavior”. That was three years into my recovery. She literally took my breath away when she said it. What a huge… Continue reading

Easy Does It – Not a Resolution in Sight.

Well that was one hoopla, roller coaster of a year. Reflecting back over my 2015 was like watching fifteen different movies at the same time and not really having a clue what was going on in any of them. I’ve had some really high highs and some really low lows. However, I made it out alive – again – and chemical free – again! Plus I felt every molecule of emotion that went with it. So yes, I’m exhausted and have no intentions of making any New Year Resolutions whatsoever. Beginning the year with the “Easy Does It” concept instead of my usual “All or Nothing” attitude, feels perfectly comfortable for me. Despite the ups and downs, 2015 was a success as far as I’m concerned. I’ve worked to the best of my ability all year and taken some risks that could have been disastrous but so far, I’m not… Continue reading