Why Do You Write About That Nicola? People Think You’re Nuts!

“If you have found a way to live with the awful shit that has happened, don’t keep that way secret. You’ll never need it again, and someone else is standing somewhere, with no idea that there is a way. Your feet have left the trail marks that someone else needs to see” – Matthew D. Eayre.   I get asked from time to time why I write about what I write about. It baffles some people as to why I can be comfortable about exposing my life in such a raw and public manner. How do I hold my head up walking down the street when half the world knows my secrets? And since my recent podcast with Chris and Jeff from KLĒN + SŌBR about my magazine and my story of recovery, I seem to have hit a few raw nerves in certain circles. Well good! It means I’m… Continue reading

When Is Sex An Addiction? – By Robert Weiss MSW

From a therapist’s point of view, sex addiction is a dysfunctional preoccupation with sex that continues for a period of at least six months despite negative consequences and attempts to either quit or curtail the problem-causing behaviors. In other words, sex addiction is an ongoing, out-of-control pattern of sexual fantasies and activities that causes problems in a person’s life – much as alcoholism is an ongoing, out-of-control pattern of alcohol abuse that causes problems in a person’s life. Generally speaking, sex addiction, like other addictions, is diagnosed based on three primary criteria: Preoccupation to the point of obsession. Sex addicts spend hours, sometimes even days, fantasizing about, planning for, pursuing, and eventually engaging in sexual acts (with self or others). They often “lose time” when floating in their sexual obsession. Loss of control. Most sex addicts try, usually repeatedly, to either quit or cut back on their sexual fantasies and… Continue reading

Self-Punishment to Self-Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

One of the root causes of my addictive personality has always been self-hatred. Despite many years in therapy, I’m not sure when it started or if it’s completely ended yet. However, self-love and acceptance is definitely obtained easier and in a gentler manner for me these days. There was a time I felt that everything about me was ugly, both inside and out. Subsequently, that feeling brought about an urge to punish myself, in the hopes of whipping myself into shape, mentally, emotionally and definitely physically. I loved pushing myself to extreme limits in all areas of my life – especially when it came to my physical appearance. Exercise and food control were once the most important part of my life. I would wake in the morning, and my first thought would be about what I was going to eat, or not eat, and how many calories I could burn… Continue reading

CONFESSION (SQUARE ONE) feat. Julia Vo – By DJ FM

  DJ FM has been a part of the southeast EDM scene for over 15 years. Not only has he DJ-ed from Baltimore to Burning Man, as a musician he’s performed his original electronic music with a live band and always incorporates live instruments into his DJ sets. He’s produced over 90 songs, instrumentals and remixes, and even had his original tracks used on MTVs Real World, Road Rules, The Hills and Making The Band. His most recent LP, “Last Man Standing” is available now on iTunes and Amazon. For the better part of 3 years, FM was resident DJ for Revolution Raleigh, the first monthly *cirque-themed* EDM party in the Triangle area. Check out his website here Continue reading