Would You Rather be Right or Happy – By Sally Stacey

      The title is a well known phrase, something I’ve asked myself in situations many a time and one I often hear being contemplated by others. “Happy” is often the first thought when responding to this question, especially in current times where so much emphasis is placed on seeking happiness at every available opportunity. Life is too short for anything else. But there have been studies done which show that the more value people place on happiness, the less happy they become. Interesting stuff. A study was performed in New Zealand which caught my eye where a husband, who had expressed his preference to be happy rather than right, agreed to agree with every opinion and request his wife made without complaint. The wife was not privvy to the details of the study outside of monitoring her own quality of life. Needless to say, things went rapidly down hill with… Continue reading

    Planning For A Retreat – Santosha and Letting Go March 2 – 4 2018

    I have been holding Santosha (contentment) retreats for four years. This year is my fifth. Each of the topics is designed to investigate and address something that harms our contentment; preventing us of enjoying peace. This year I am presenting aspect of letting go. What is so difficult about letting go? Why do we hold on and what is it, about ANY issue or choice, are we really holding on to? Holding on is uncomfortable and letting go opens us to something we… can’t imagine- this change possibly feeling even more uncomfortable. Leaving a job, getting a new job, graduating or starting school, leaving home, starting a new family, going into or out of a relationship- all of these changes require a letting go. We have preferences, we have hopes, and we may also struggle with control. Ultimately, however we need to let go and turn over outcomes to our… Continue reading

    Advantages of Being Highly Sensitive – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

    Chances are, if you are a highly sensitive person, you are no stranger to being told that you are “too sensitive.” For many people, this comment feels like an insult, but in fact, there are some considerable advantages that come along with being a highly sensitive person. When I was a kid, I used to think that everyone was equally as sensitive as I was. I figured everyone took everything to heart like I did– they just didn’t admit it. I was sure that my siblings cowered inside like I did when our parents scolded us. I was certain that all my friends were as crushed as I was when a budding romance did not bloom into a full-blown relationship. I thought everyone wanted to die if they made a mistake or disappointed someone. It took many years for me to realize that we are not all the same breed. Some people are not… Continue reading

    MECHANISMS OF CHANGE IN ADDICTION RECOVERY – By William L. White

    High degrees of variability in the pathways and styles of addiction recovery obscure shared mechanisms of change across such healing processes. The alcohol and drug problems arena is filled with professional claims and counterclaims, excessive marketing hype, and riveting personal testimonies of how such problems can be best resolved. The central stakeholders in these debates commonly assert that their particular ideas and methods constitute THE TRUTH, and wrap these claims in the mantle of science or personal/clinical experience. The resulting noise can leave listeners understandably bewildered about the nature of such problems and their ultimate solution. People recover with and without the ever-expanding menu of professional treatment; with and without medication support; with and without involvement in the growing networks of religious, spiritual, and secular recovery mutual aid groups; and with and without involvement in new recovery support institutions (from recovery homes and collegiate recovery communities to recovery cafes and… Continue reading

    Recovery Dates – By Sally Stacey

      How important is your recovery date to you…that date when you finally threw in the towel on active addiction and walked into a life of recovery? Do you celebrate the date on it’s anniversary in any way? Circulate it publicly? Use it as a benchmark when looking for friendships, support or sponsorship if relevant? What role does your recovery date, and that of others, play in your life…and why? For me, this year I have to admit…I forgot the date until I checked my phone and saw it was January 3rd. Immediately, I was awash with gratitude…having escaped the vice like grip of addiction 4 years previously for a second time. I wrote about it online and shared my gratitude in a couple of AA meetings that day. A quiet day, a little emotional and reflective…it ended quite fittingly with a family games night. That was it, anniversary done… Continue reading