Hitting bottom – By Sally Stacey

    Everybody has to bottom out in their addiction before attaining a life in recovery and reach a point where recovery becomes more attractive than continuing down the road of active addiction. Just how that point is reached can vary from person to person. The first way that comes to mind is where the pain of continuing in active addiction becomes intolerable and something has to give…to stop or to continue to the bitter end. Another way would be where an event triggers a sudden realisation that something has to change…a car accident whilst under the influence perhaps. Or the decision is instigated by others…an intervention, a court order or a spousal ultimatum…stop, or we’re done! The guilt regarding the kids. Then again, it could simply come down to a quiet realisation that there must be more to life than living everyday chained to an addiction. There are many roads leading… Continue reading

    Food for Thought – By Jeanne Foot

    One byproduct of entering recovery is the multitude of gifts that sobriety can offer us.  Some of the perks are more obvious than others, such as improved health, relationships, overall satisfaction and contentment.  Although life steadily improves after active addiction, there is the stark reality of the state of the life you have just awoken from which may have been contributing to your active substance use disorder in the first place. Many of us may be overwhelmed in our early days of sobriety with thoughts and feeling of depression, anxiety, self-loathing, shame and low self-esteem. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it may feel impossible to feel anything differently. Being in active addiction is like being highjacked from your own thought process, where you have ZERO control to any other outcome, than to feed your addiction; and we have the science to prove it. The good news is that… Continue reading

    Partner of an Addict? How to Get Your Unmet Needs Met Part II – By Vicki Tidwell Palmer

    In my previous post, Partner of an Addict? Getting Your Unmet Needs Met, I discussed the fact that partners of addicts are often unhappy not only because of the addictive behavior itself, but because they are not getting their needs met. In Part I, I outlined the two steps needed to remedy this shortcoming: identifying your unmet needs, and discovering how to get your unmet needs met in healthy ways. The previous post discussed the first of these steps. This post is focused on the second step—finding alternative, healthy ways to meet your needs whenever and wherever your partner is unable to meet them. In getting your unmet needs met, it’s helpful to begin with things over which you have control. I can’t emphasize this enough. You must start by focusing on things over which you have control. Partners of addicts sometimes spend inordinate amounts of time and energy attempting to get… Continue reading

    Are You Ready for Step Eleven? – By Robert Weiss

      Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step eleven, like step ten, is not a step that is worked once and then forgotten. Instead, it is part of an ongoing (usually daily) ritual of recovery. That said, recovering addicts often find “prayer” and “meditation” to be somewhat baffling concepts. And some, especially those who began the recovery process as agnostics or atheists, may still be struggling with the idea of having a higher power at all. For these reasons (and many others), step eleven can be a difficult one to work. If you find yourself struggling with this step, take heart in the fact that you are not alone. Even the most devoutly spiritual and/or religious members of twelve-step recovery groups sometimes lose their… Continue reading

    Secrecy and Addiction – By Patty Powers

      If you attend 12-Step meetings you’re bound to hear a bunch of corny sayings like “Denial is not a river in Egypt.” You’ll either laugh or roll your eyes dismissively. Where you’re at with your recovery has a lot to do with how information gets filtered through the addict-mind, what your ears pick up. For example, if you’re at your first meetings because of coercion, either by family members or the court system, the inner response to pretty much everything said is, “This is bullshit”. Not everything bounces off a closed mind though. Usually something seeps in that might create a desire to check out another meeting one day. The truth has a way of finding a crack in the armor. Besides, it’s hard to dismiss a roomful of people who are no longer imprisoned by the isolation of active addiction and alcoholism. As a recovery coach, I’ve attended… Continue reading