Book Review “Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating” by Robert Weiss

    Review written by Scott Brassart In the addiction/recovery world, infidelity is more common than most of us would like to admit. Many of us cheated while we were active in our addiction. Sometimes we managed to fuse our substance abuse with sexual activity, so our addiction and our cheating traveled hand in hand. Others of us waited until we were in recovery before we start sleeping around. Suddenly, we were sober and starting to both look and feel better, and our long-suppressed sex drive kicked in. Then, before we knew it, we had cheated. “Eventually, we learned that if we truly wanted to save our relationship, we would have to do more. But what?” Whenever our cheating occurred, we deeply damaged our primary relationship. Feelings were hurt, trust was lost, and the intimate connection that tied us to our significant other was decimated. Most of us tried to either cover-up… Continue reading

    How A Resource Anchor Keeps You Afloat – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

    I popped open the lid of the shower gel and breathed in the scent. Paris, 2004, The George V hotel. It was the scent of money and luxury, definitely pre-2008. It was a shower gel I’d taken as a souvenir from the hotel and now 12 years later, I was instantly teleported to smelling, seeing, hearing, and feeling what I experienced in that sweet moment in time. Scent is our most primal sensory organ instantaneously linking and transporting us to another dimension. Yet  all  of our senses contribute to an ongoing storage system of memories deeply embedded in our neurology. Simply put, these “anchors” are a connection between a stimulus and emotional response. Like it or not we are conditioned with these stimulus response opportunities all the time, whether it’s the scent of chocolate chip cookies anchoring us to a sweet time in our childhood, or a song firing off a memory of a hot hookup… Continue reading

    My Army Life and Alcoholism (Part II) – By Rick Williamson

    Read Part I of Ricks story here “On my second day in Germany, I got so drunk that the hangover lasted for three days…….” I drank and got drunk almost everyday that I spent in Germany. When I first got there, I fell in love with their beer and food. I never drank American beer during that time, except when I came home on leave. On my second day in Germany, I got so drunk that the hangover lasted for three days and I had never been so sick in my entire life. I thought it would never end and of course, I swore off drinking. I can only remember an eighteen day period that I did not drink while in Germany and that was because I was in the hospital with a broken neck. That hiatus ended shortly after I got back to my unit. During this tour, I… Continue reading

    The Girl with the Light Brown Eyes – By Lisa Perez

    I remember the first time that my father looked at me—really looked at me. I was in his car when my eyes caught a ray of sunlight pouring in through the windshield. He said something like, “Oh! Wow, baby girl. You really have light brown eyes!”  For the first time in my life, I felt as though I was seen. Most of my life, I’d been invisible. As first-born, I represented everything from my parent’s shortcomings to their dreams and aspirations. I didn’t know this, of course.  I barely knew the story of my infancy and just how much I was unwanted. As I grew up, I’d be told time and time again that “children should be seen and not heard.”  The trouble with that was that I wasn’t seen. At all. Now, after years of searching and reaching across caverns of knowledge, I can at least, admit who I… Continue reading

    Watch, Listen, Talk: Supporting Your Teens Mental Health – By Jeanne Foot

      Raising a teenager can be challenging enough on a good day, let alone when they suffer with mental health and or addiction struggles. We long for our “little girl or boy”, the sweet and compliant child in awe of their parents. But, every parent who has lived through the teen years can tell you about their day of reckoning, the grim day when your child suddenly knows everything and you know nothing because you just don’t understand! The struggle for a parent is found in the tension between meeting your teens need for independence with your own need to remain in control of their safety and well being. How do we keep them safe and out of harms way?  We worry about whether or not they will be influenced by their peers. Have we taught them all they need to know? How do we navigate their constantly changing moods?… Continue reading