• Past Articles

Thoroughness From the Very Start – By Kyczy Hawk

Recovery is a program of action. We are encouraged to “participate in our own recovery”, to work the twelve steps until they work IN us. Being complete, being exhaustive in our efforts is highly recommended. In the big book of AA we are nearly promised a life free of relapse when we practice the principles completely and with devotion. “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path..” intimating that anything less was doomed. One of my character defects is perfectionism. Another is procrastination. I both want to do things in an exemplary fashion and the other part of me fears that I cannot be perfect – so why even start. The thinking steps: one, two and three, were philosophically troubling and I was warned continually “not to worry”, to do my best, so I just gave it a good thinking and moved on. Step Four… Continue reading

When Your New Boyfriend Is A Porn Addict – By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

A few weeks ago I received an email from a woman in recovery from substance abuse. She had recently started dating a new guy who, after their second date, told her that he was struggling with an addiction to pornography. She contacted me, asking for advice on how to handle the situation. She said she likes this new man a lot, and she respects his willingness to be open and honest about his issue. She wanted to know if she should stick with him, and, if so, what she could to do help him find recovery. My advice was as follows: If your new boyfriend is not yet in recovery but is open to the idea, I suggest a 12-step sexual recovery group. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) are all solid places to find recovery. Any of these… Continue reading

Politics, Resentments, and Lovingkindness – By Jamie Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, REAT, RMT

I am full of resentments this election cycle in the U.S. I resent the candidate whose way of being in the world triggers all of my trauma issues down to their deepest core. I resent the loyal masses of followers voting for said candidate, including family and friends who belong to this group. I resent the lies and twisted misinformation being spread around as Gospel truth and I resent that the country I love so much has created a climate for this phenomenon to even happen. I also resent members of my own political party—people who, directly or indirectly, are chiding me for not being a stronger supporter of our own party’s candidate. As a citizen, I have a right to see who I am voting for as a lesser of two evils, yet expressing sentiments of this nature has often led to complete invalidation of my feelings. As social… Continue reading

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead…..Right? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

Here’s something easy I bet you won’t do. Not that I’m being negative, but invariably when we hear something’s easy, despite wanting something easy, we dismiss it as being too easy and then we don’t do it. Seriously how often have you said, “I wish there was an easy way to lose weight, find a lover, or have a fat bank account. ” Well, this post isn’t about any of those things, but I know how you can dramatically, Yep, I said it dramatically improve your health and brain by doing one simple thing. One simple thing. It’s so simple you’ll likely want to hit delete as soon as you read it. But I challenge you… Read on GET MORE SLEEP Margaret Thatcher had a different take, “Sleep is for sissies.” she liked to say. I was smug about being bullet proof on 5.5 hours of sleep saying, “I’ll sleep… Continue reading

When did My living Become Normal? – By Nicola O’Hanlon

It’s stated that a recovery process is supposed to be a bridge to normal living. It takes a while – this normal living. And it happened for me when I stopped measuring my normalness against others idea of what normal and abnormal is. And on reflection aren’t we all living pretty normal lives? We believe that a normal life is functional, happy, without too much upset, balanced. But if you look around in our society none of that is normal and probably never has been. We have created an ideal view of normalcy which is unobtainable for most. In fact, normal for most people is experiencing trauma frequently, struggling to make ends meet, worrying about how to meet our basic needs. And even if our needs are being met, we are consumed by competing, being the best, prettiest, thinnest, and definitely making sure the rest of the world knows we… Continue reading