Recoverying from Narcissistic Abuse – By Michelle Lentini

Gaslighting: To manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Gaslighting is real, it is dangerous, and it is a very powerful tactic. I should know. I was preyed upon by a narcissist for four years. It was the most horrific, dreadful, frightening relationship I had ever been in. Most people who use this type of tactic on others to gain control have narcissistic or psychopathic character traits. I was in the middle of these relationships, with the most destructive behaviors present, yet I wasn’t fully aware of it most of the time. It was so subtle and gradual that it blindsided me. People who do this are experts and have probably been doing it to others all their lives. I was very vulnerable to being targeted by someone with narcissistic personality traits because of my addictions. However, even the most together, confident and intelligent people can get caught up… Continue reading

It’s Not You, It’s Me – By Kyczy Hawk

I have been through many a break up in my long life. I have been both the instigator and the one left behind. I have occasionally been part of a mutual decision to part ways. In my younger day’s most of the “dating” was done within the pack. We would pair up, be “the couple”, then break up. There would be the clustering of sympathy- sides would be taken, blame would be imposed and then life would resume. The parties (both myself and the other person) would show up sometime later, could be days, could be weeks, with another member of our group: arms circling each other’s waist, moony eyed and attached. Gut-punched or pleased, we would adapt and the churning would go on. A break-up, a re-attachment, the dance of love would continue. I learned the “it’s not you it’s me” phrase early on. In my twenties, the breakups… Continue reading

Nicola talks to Dawn Nickel of She Recovers (podcast)

    Nicola Talks to Dawn Nickel of She Recovers, about their shared recovery philosophy, upcoming She Recovers events around the world, and the She Recovers Intentions & Guiding Principles. A truly uplifting and empowering conversation! Find out more about Dawn and She Recovers at her website here     Continue reading

Are You Hung Up On Step 3’s “God” Thing? Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

In previous postings I have discussed the importance of Steps 1 and 2 and a few ways in which those steps can be worked. To recap, Step 1 helps you understand the nature and consequences of your addiction, and Step 2 helps you understand and accept that if you want to establish and maintain sobriety, you’re going to need some outside assistance. In this blog, I will discuss Step 3 in similar fashion. Step 3 reads as follows: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood Him. In some ways, Step 3 is the first action step of addiction recovery, as it’s the first time you’re actually asked to do something. You are asked to “make a decision” that outside assistance and guidance will be accepted and followed. “You know, tall guy, long silver hair and beard, white robes, Birkenstock… Continue reading

And The Award Goes To? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

With all the Hollywood buzz about the upcoming Oscars, I began to wonder what if our lives had annual awards. Would we notice our epic wins, our memorable and noteworthy dramas and comedies? Would there be a category for most valuable contribution to humanity? What would our original score be or mean? But what if the most coveted award was… for being ENOUGH? What if that was the award we gave ourselves daily? And the Award goes to… me….for being enough? Simplicity is deceptive. We often can’t speak an affirmation like, “I’m beautiful, I’m confident, I can handle this” ….and believe those words. But the simplicity of stating “I am Enough”….is nearly irrefutable. Ok maybe not irrefutable. You scream….“But I’m not enough, I’m a loser. I don’t have a job, I’ve been divorced three times, I have no friends.” But try saying this….“I’m a loser, but I’m still enough. I don’t have a… Continue reading