• Past Articles

The Gift Of Feeling Blue – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

  Blue, Baby, Blue One of my clients recently lamented, “I always feel blue around the holidays.” How often have you, or someone else, said the very same thing? Anxiousness & Isolation are the primary complaints. How ironic we feel isolation when it turns out there’s plenty of company with those same feelings. Is this particular feeling of malaise amplified by all the apparent  “merry and bright” outside? With all the Ho Ho Ho‘ing what makes some people feel so Ho Hum ? Is it simply the contrast of what we think we should feel, (because we believe everyone else is so much happier) that makes us feel more acutely BLUE? Knowing our words don’t describe our lives they create them, I got curious about the expression. Where did “feeling blue” come from and what does it mean? Dating back as early as the mid 1800’s , “feeling blue”  suggested a… Continue reading

Thanksgiving Gratitude – By RT

  Thanksgiving is my favorite time of the year. I love that the weather is starting to get cooler. It gets dark a little earlier which gives me warm loving feelings of family and a deep sense Gratitude. It’s a time for me to reflect on how far I’ve come in my life and my Recovery. I thought it would be nice to bring you into my world for moment and let you know a little bit about me, what I’m doing and how I feel about the holidays. It only takes one word for me to describe how I feel….Grateful. This year was a significant milestone in my Recovery. I got clean on September 20, 1983 at the age of 33 and this year I picked up my 33 year medallion. Wow, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been in Recovery half my life. I walked from Addiction into… Continue reading

The view from Rock Bottom and How to Change It – Alana Haase

What is Rock Bottom? The Urban Dictionary defines it as: “A state of being wherein you feel as though you cannot sink any lower emotionally, psychologically or physically. My view from rock bottom was cream colored linoleum with beige flecks in it. It was the floor in my bathroom and I was lying face down looking at it through swollen eyes. When my hysterical crying finally stopped and I could take a breath I studied the floor very carefully. I remember feeling shocked at how ugly the floor was from this view. When I was able to stand I looked in the mirror at a complete stranger. Long tangled dark hair, matted in area’s with mucous from the crying. Red eyes so swollen my view was distorted, pale blotchy skin and lips. I stared in horror at this version of myself and heard a deep voice speak directly into my spirit,… Continue reading

Can I Be Grateful For The Shit In My Life? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

I lay in bed at 5:27 a.m. setting my intention for the day. How about a Thanksgiving twist? This Thanksgiving I’ll be grateful for the shit in my life. Reasoning if I could be grateful for the shit, being grateful for the gifts would be Thanksgiving on steroids. Intention set, I got out of bed stumbling barefooted in the darkness toward the bathroom. My foot came down on something warm, soft and mushy. Wait, that did not just happen. Note to self, when setting intentions be very specific about language. Yes, I had just stepped in my first gift of the morning. “Whaddya grateful for now?” I admit it’s much easier to be philosophical while warm in bed, than on-the- spot grateful with warm crap between my toes. Why was I grateful for stepping in poop? My feet were cold and the sensation of stepping in something warm and soft… Continue reading

How I Learned What Love Is – By Greg R

  Before I came to the fellowship, Love was physical and material. I didn’t like commitment, however, my attitude to anything was “What’s in it for me?” or “OK, and what do I get out of it?” I was either totally selfish or completely grovelling; there was seldom an in between balance. If I wasn’t in a relationship, or what I took as a relationship, then I was a failure. If I was in a relationship, I was either; scared of her seeing the real me, or more often than not, seeking comfort from the female of the species, to impress or get them to feel sorry for me, just for the sympathy sex. Basically, when with my partner, I was happy and contented, but if I was working away I acted like a single man on the hunt. After coming to the fellowship, having lost mostly everything, let alone… Continue reading