Easy Does It – Not a Resolution in Sight.

    Well that was one hoopla, roller coaster of a year. Reflecting back over my 2015 was like watching fifteen different movies at the same time and not really having a clue what was going on in any of them. I’ve had some really high highs and some really low lows. However, I made it out alive – again – and chemical free – again! Plus I felt every molecule of emotion that went with it. So yes, I’m exhausted and have no intentions of making any New Year Resolutions whatsoever. Beginning the year with the “Easy Does It” concept instead of my usual “All or Nothing” attitude, feels perfectly comfortable for me. Despite the ups and downs, 2015 was a success as far as I’m concerned. I’ve worked to the best of my ability all year and taken some risks that could have been disastrous but so far, I’m not… Continue reading

    Easy Does It – Simple as One, Two, Three. Yoga for The New Year.

    Happy New Year! A changing of the calendar page, turning over a new leaf, the hope of a new beginning. There is hope but there is also the illusion of imagining that a future day could mean more than the embrace of the present in a new or more faithful fashion. I am a rebel. I say forget the resolutions! Forget the resolutions and instead set an intention for the New Year.  Perhaps an intention that is different from a pledge to be different. So not to be more, but to do less of the unhealthy and more of the healing. I used to set out lists; things that were going to change once the old man of the present year gave way to the baby of the New Year. In the meantime the days between Christmas and New Years were a Bacchanalian week of self-indulgence and rule breaking. This… Continue reading

    Intentions and Resolutions – Excerpt from “Life In Bite Sized Morsels” By Kyczy Hawk

    I learn so much from people at meetings. A month or so ago we were talking about intentions, and a woman said she “found the results of her intentions in her crisper bin.” We all burst out laughing, because we all know that drawer in the fridge—the one with exotic vegetables: celery root, kale, mustard greens, varieties of eggplants large and small, wizened mushrooms and fungus, as well as the traditional salad-makings and snacking carrots. I buy them in a passion for healthy eating, preparing new dishes and tasting new flavors. I get them all at once, not realizing there is no possible way to consume them all before they become limp, pale shadows of their previous snappy, robust selves. The worst case is they all get purchased, put away, and then forgotten until they dissolve into a hard-to-discern soup or paste. I toss them out in shame, another good… Continue reading

    Just Like Amy

    I wonder sometimes, where I’d be now, if I hadn’t stopped drinking and popping xanax. I’ve been advised over and over not to “what if” myself into a bout of anxiety. I get anxious easily. But my mind goes there, now and then. Especially when things are going well. And things are going well right now. They have been for quite some time. I’m not used to this new method of experiencing the world. It seems a bit morbid, even to me, to think these thoughts. But being unaccustomed to stuff working in my favour, my mind tends to wander back to where it dwelled for most of my life. In the immortal words of Amy Winehouse, I go “Back to Black”. I’m still distrustful of my thought process at times. But this type of contemplation makes me grateful. At least that’s my understanding of it. I imagine I might… Continue reading

    Nonsense – There’s Nothing Wrong

    The illusion of uncertainty masks the depravity of the fear I feel locked in the void of not knowing but not wanting to stop either Looking out at the endless rain and mucky landscape there is always something else to ponder aways a sense of not being there yet And not knowing where the hell I’m supposed to be going I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time Or what sense I’m making to the world Or it to me Should be Supposed to rattle around my mind irritating to the point of angry insanity and if I just stopped for a second to listen to myself and disregard the nonsense I’d be just fine Continue reading