Loving Self and Others – By Kyczy Hawk

What does Valentine’s Day have to do with yoga and recovery? Love, admiration, and relationships that are discovered within ourselves and with one another at meetings and other sharing. But occasionally we draw in advertising, movies, and other social media and experience sadness, loneliness, and, maybe, self pity. Sometimes we crave and contemplate what we are sure others have when we see the ads and the promotions for gifts and greeting cards. It can be painful. This celebration of chocolate and all things sweet can be a challenge when you are dealing with food issues. The illusion that “everyone else is in love” can bring up relationship issues. You may find yourself having to navigate the field of wants within yourself. How can you observe your life in a healthy way and enjoy the friendships you have? And you do have friends. We, in recovery, can find friendship. Partnership, a… Continue reading

What Sexual Addiction is NOT – By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Unfortunately, there is a lot of inaccurate information floating around about sex addiction. Because of this, some people will use the label “sex addiction” to define any type of sexual behavior (in others or in themselves) that does not meet their personal, cultural, or religious view of what sex should look like. He goes to a very conservative church that thinks porn is a sin, but he looks at porn on a regular basis. He must be a sex addict. I’m married to a woman that I love but I’ve been having sex with men. I must be a sex addict. She’s cheating on her husband. Only a sex addict would do that, right? Even worse, sometimes people who are caught red-handed engaging in inappropriate, illegal, or just plain problematic sex will suggest that they are sex addicts, attempting to use sex addiction as a catch-all excuse for their behavior,… Continue reading

Dating: A Cautionary Tale – From A Sober Mom’s Guide To Recovery – by Rosemary O’Connor

© 2015 by Rosemary O’Connor Hazelden Publishing Published with permission of Rosemary O’Connor. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”— MAE WEST For the alcoholic single mother, the dos and don’ts of dating are convoluted and complex. Dating for anyone today is like a minefield, but for recovering women, especially recovering moms who already have a history of disastrous relationships, the dangers are even greater. My friend Diane told me, “I’ve dated every dysfunctional man in Arizona, so I had to move to California.” You may feel like your Prize Picker is totally broken after so many failed attempts, or maybe you had no relation- ships and just slept around, looking for love in all the wrong places. You may be the woman who never dated and had given up on ever finding love. It was suggested I refrain from dating for the first… Continue reading

“Drinking – A Love Story” – I’m Not That Bad!

Finishing Chapter Two and starting Chapter Three, this week’s reading focused on two parts of alcoholism with which I could readily relate. First, that no one ever saw my real drinking and second that denial allowed me to stay out there as long as I did. The author spoke at length about how she drank when she was with others and when she was alone. She would go out for drinks with her colleagues after work to the bar across the street. After one or two drinks, she would “have to run” and no one knew that those first two drinks were only the start of her night. I can recall going to the bar/restaurant on the mezzanine floor of our office building. There was always a core group of colleagues, along with others who would join once in a while. Made up mostly of bankers, the group also included… Continue reading

Chaos – I can’t quit you! – By Jo Black Sullivan

Chaos has been in the fabric of my being since I was five years old.  I didn’t understand it then but I was most definitely cultivating the art of creating it, developing an eye to spot it and seeking out people who responded to it. Chaos was my safe place long before booze and drugs took over and it has remained so long after.  In the years they were both in my life – I was a constantly twisting crescendo of ecstatic misery.  Living life in a cycle of artificial highs, sick and craving hours that served their own purpose to fill my soul and the brief moments of reality which were completely unacceptable.  So I wrapped it all in chaos and mayhem in an effort to never ever – even for one moment – be alone with myself. It started when I was a child.  There was on older… Continue reading