AA Language – Does it Help or Hinder Recovery?

“My name is Damien, and I’m an alcoholic.” This is the conventional way to introduce oneself at a meeting of the fellowship. It bugs me. The very first time I said these words they were incredibly powerful and liberating — when I finally said them, my surrender was complete. But as my sober time increases, I’m growing more uncomfortable with saying these words. They’re not inaccurate. These words defined my drinking in the end. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines alcoholic as “affected with alcoholism” and alcoholism as “continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks.” But these words do not define me. These words focus on the problem rather than the solution. Every time I introduce myself at a meeting, I struggle with how to label myself. I wrestle with a few phrases in my head, more often than not, I default to using these words even though they irritate me.… Continue reading

Easy Does It – New Year Nutrition

It’s interesting that when I heard “easy does it” for the first time, it registered in my brain to mean – sit back and relax – there’s no hurry! The denial ran deep in my unconscious giving me permission to indulge in procrastination. My problematic thinking stemmed from many years of misconceptions. I was my own worst enemy, either in overt retaliation or covert destruction. I didn’t know I was stuck in a merry go round of self-deception. Anyone who tried to help me see the light, no matter how kind their approach couldn’t penetrate my justification armour. A wise woman once told me, when the intensity of my emotions were getting the best of me “Kathy – The Only Way to Change your behavior is to CHANGE your behavior”. That was three years into my recovery. She literally took my breath away when she said it. What a huge… Continue reading

Easy Does It – Not a Resolution in Sight.

Well that was one hoopla, roller coaster of a year. Reflecting back over my 2015 was like watching fifteen different movies at the same time and not really having a clue what was going on in any of them. I’ve had some really high highs and some really low lows. However, I made it out alive – again – and chemical free – again! Plus I felt every molecule of emotion that went with it. So yes, I’m exhausted and have no intentions of making any New Year Resolutions whatsoever. Beginning the year with the “Easy Does It” concept instead of my usual “All or Nothing” attitude, feels perfectly comfortable for me. Despite the ups and downs, 2015 was a success as far as I’m concerned. I’ve worked to the best of my ability all year and taken some risks that could have been disastrous but so far, I’m not… Continue reading

Easy Does It – Simple as One, Two, Three. Yoga for The New Year.

Happy New Year! A changing of the calendar page, turning over a new leaf, the hope of a new beginning. There is hope but there is also the illusion of imagining that a future day could mean more than the embrace of the present in a new or more faithful fashion. I am a rebel. I say forget the resolutions! Forget the resolutions and instead set an intention for the New Year.  Perhaps an intention that is different from a pledge to be different. So not to be more, but to do less of the unhealthy and more of the healing. I used to set out lists; things that were going to change once the old man of the present year gave way to the baby of the New Year. In the meantime the days between Christmas and New Years were a Bacchanalian week of self-indulgence and rule breaking. This… Continue reading

Intentions and Resolutions – Excerpt from “Life In Bite Sized Morsels” By Kyczy Hawk

I learn so much from people at meetings. A month or so ago we were talking about intentions, and a woman said she “found the results of her intentions in her crisper bin.” We all burst out laughing, because we all know that drawer in the fridge—the one with exotic vegetables: celery root, kale, mustard greens, varieties of eggplants large and small, wizened mushrooms and fungus, as well as the traditional salad-makings and snacking carrots. I buy them in a passion for healthy eating, preparing new dishes and tasting new flavors. I get them all at once, not realizing there is no possible way to consume them all before they become limp, pale shadows of their previous snappy, robust selves. The worst case is they all get purchased, put away, and then forgotten until they dissolve into a hard-to-discern soup or paste. I toss them out in shame, another good… Continue reading