Sex Addiction vs. Other Addictions: The Betrayed Partner’s Perspective Vicki Tidwell Palmer

    The impact of addiction on a spouse or long-term committed partner is not the same for all addictions. For survivors of chronic infidelity or sex addiction, there are five major ways that sex addiction is different than other addictions, creating unique challenges to the betrayed partner and the repair of the couple’s relationship. 1. Sexual Betrayal Feels Like a Personal Assault If your spouse abuses alcohol or drugs or is hooked on gambling, video gaming, or spending, you are likely to feel intensely frustrated by his or her behavior. You might even be hurt by the fact that your spouse seems to care more about his addiction than you. But you probably won’t see your spouse’s behavior as a personal attack. Sex addiction is different. If your spouse spends hours every day looking at and masturbating to pornography, having sex with prostitutes, having multiple anonymous hookups, and frequenting adult bookstores,… Continue reading

    Addiction: Why Me? Why You? Why Not Them? – By Sally Stacey

    A couple of years into recovery, I was on vacation back home on the small island where I grew up. I remember driving to my first AA meeting there, convinced that I would see half the friends I had known in my twenties…it would become a fun reunion of sorts. I envisioned me saying “Hey, fancy seeing you here!” whilst smiling sheepishly, coffee in hand. Not so 🙂 It was an enjoyable meeting for sure but I didn’t know anyone. Furthermore, I didn’t recognise a single person at any of the other five or so meetings I went to whilst there. What had happened to all my drinking buddies? We had all been as crazy as each other back in the day. Surely I couldn’t have been the only one to develop addiction issues. Why me? Why any of us? Why not them? For years, researchers have been searching for… Continue reading

    What is it about 4pm? – By Kyczy Hawk

    Is four pm a kind of witching hour? Is there some sort of Ayurvedic twist of the clock, a Basal Metabolic shift, a change in the internal tides at that time? It seems my daily resolutions fall apart about then. I set intentions each day. Some are affirmations of long-term Sankalpa, others are directions I wish to bring to the day. I mean them with a full heart, one-pointed attention, and focus, hoping that they are in alignment with the plan from my universal spirit. Seldom are they “selfish” but sometimes they are. I want to eat in a more healthy style, I wish to set aside critical thought, I wish to let go of anxiety (borrowed trouble) and to be in the moment as it is. Simple, but not easy steps on the path towards my true spirit. But come four o’clock I lose my mind. I am not… Continue reading

    Sex Talk Special Guest Dr. Anadel Barbour – How to Have Better Sex

    Dr. Barbour was 40 years old with a high school education when she got sober. Without a plan in mind, she began taking classes part-time at a community college while holding various jobs. After earning a We’re going to be breaking new ground on this week’s SEX TALK. For the first time, the focus will be on “How to Have Better Sex.” My special guest is Sex Coach/ Sexologist, author of the clinician’s book “Sex in Sobriety”, Dr. Anadel Barbour. She will be answering questions as well as providing advice on how to have better sex, how to re-engage your partner, and how to experience pleasure despite physical barriers. certificate as a drug and alcohol counselor she began working at a rehab until the financial struggle of an entry-level position forced her back into restaurant work. As coincidence would have it, she was feeling too old and tired for the… Continue reading

    Speaking Truth in Silence – By William L White

      Addiction is often accompanied by mutations in character (e.g., lying, deceit, manipulation, aggression) that in turn spark breaches of trust within one’s family, personal, and professional relationships. It is thus not surprising that addiction constitutes one of the few health conditions in which reconstruction of character is posited as an essential dimension of the recovery process. Addiction-spawned changes within the brain contribute to these mutations via the prioritization of sustained drug use above all other human needs and values. Such aberrations also constitute defensive gambits to avoid drug-related consequences and the emotional toll of guilt, shame, self-hatred, and fear of insanity. Whatever their source, affected parents, siblings, children, intimate partners, extended family members, friends, employers, business associates, creditors, and professionals seeking to offer help all bear the brunt of the resulting breaches of trust. So for one on the brink of entrance into recovery, key questions become: “How can trust,… Continue reading