When You’re The Scapegoat In A Toxic Family Of Origin – By Marty Jones

It happened again! The perpetual cycle of me allowing my mother to get close to me, then tearing me apart, me forgiving and learning to trust her again….and round and round we go. To say it’s exhausting and degrading and soul destroying is quite the understatement. And to allow myself to stay in this cycle is even more soul destroying. I’ve worked far too hard and far too deeply on myself to be okay with continuing to be part of my own systematic abuse. So, I’ve decided once and for all to support myself fully, stop denying what is happening and detach from my family. I come from a dysfunctional home (who doesn’t?) where my father drank and womanised all his life. My mother tried to cover it up and put on a show for the rest of the world and was enabled to do so by her own family….because… Continue reading

Podcast with Dawn Clancy from Growing Up Chaotic

I spoke to Dawn Clancy recently, creator of Growing Up Chaotic, a community for friends and families of addicts and survivors of abuse. Dawn and I met originally when we both wrote for AfterPartyMagazine. She shares some of her story with us and gives us some great advice on how to live a functional life, despite growing up chaotic! Continue reading

The view from Rock Bottom and How to Change It – Alana Haase

What is Rock Bottom? The Urban Dictionary defines it as: “A state of being wherein you feel as though you cannot sink any lower emotionally, psychologically or physically. My view from rock bottom was cream colored linoleum with beige flecks in it. It was the floor in my bathroom and I was lying face down looking at it through swollen eyes. When my hysterical crying finally stopped and I could take a breath I studied the floor very carefully. I remember feeling shocked at how ugly the floor was from this view. When I was able to stand I looked in the mirror at a complete stranger. Long tangled dark hair, matted in area’s with mucous from the crying. Red eyes so swollen my view was distorted, pale blotchy skin and lips. I stared in horror at this version of myself and heard a deep voice speak directly into my spirit,… Continue reading

Alone – By Jessica Donovan

    Where were you when I was sitting alone in the parking lot of the motel we called home? Where were you when I picked up that needle and stuck myself with it? Where were you? You knew he had HIV/AIDS. I used to cry and feel so lonely without you there. So I would go outside and play by myself. In the parking lot of the motel we lived in. Where the heroin needle lay. The one my HIV infected uncle likely dropped on his way in. I never knew where you were but when you found me sitting on the asphalt with a needle sticking out of my thumb that got your attention. Crisis averted, I didn’t get infected. Lucky for me, not you. All I ever wanted was you to be there but you always left me alone or sent me away. I didn’t understand. I… Continue reading

A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery – By Rosemary O’Connor. Sexual Trauma and Co-Dependency. Review By Jackie Stein

Sexual trauma and co-dependency….finding the connection will be interesting. In Rosemary O’Connor’s book about taking care of ourselves in order to take care of our kids, she discusses two topics that go to the core of our self-esteem. Trauma consists of a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and it affects us on all levels:  physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. We examine these traumas in our recovery – otherwise we are leaving ourselves open to relapse. We speak our truth – in meetings, in therapy, with a sponsor. By doing so, we reduce the power that the trauma has over us. And it often provides others in our group with the courage to come forward and address their own traumatic issues. We feel safe. When I was several years into recovery, I heard a woman’s story in a women’s meeting. She talked about how she had experienced sexual trauma at the… Continue reading