Reflections on the Anniversary I Never Thought Would Happen – Jackie S

Saturday, November 21, 2015 is the 6th anniversary of my last mind-altering substance taken for recreational purposes.  I have said that to myself at least 20 times in the last two days.  To me, that is a remarkable feat.  I never thought it would happen.  When I relapsed after 10 years dry, but not in recovery, I thought it was just a matter of time before I would disappear from the Earth.  I was a failure – again.  The shame and pain was unbearable.  How could I possibly let go of 10 years – thrown away like just some crinkled piece of paper stuck in my jeans pocket and run through the laundry, fragmented and no longer recognizable as anything of value. Eight more years passed before I thought I might be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I was a failure at sobriety and I was a… Continue reading

PODCAST WITH KLEN+SOBR – Nicola O’Hanlon

Yesterday, November 19th, I did a podcast interview with Chris & Jeff from KLEN+SOBR, and their “Since Right Now” podcast. It was a really cool experience. In it I talk about Ireland, my drinking, getting sober and of course the most important part – Recovery!   “Turns out everyone with a recovery site and their mother with a recovery site was—and is—collecting “recovery stories.” So, K+S evolved quickly to incorporate just about anything relating to addiction recovery in all it’s permutations. The tent pole, as many of you now know is the Since Right Now Podcast.”   Continue reading

No More Notches On Your Bedpost – Valuing Your Female Sexuality in Recovery

Entering any new situation in life can be uncomfortable. We are so used to doing things in a certain way, that changing our mode of behavior to one we are not familiar with, feels like we are floating in open water with no life buoy. Some of the greatest examples of this can be seen in early recovery – or recovery in general for some. We often carry our old ways with us into new situations, only to discover old behaviors don’t serve us and are not appropriate nor needed any longer. So you just walked out of the bars and clubs and into a 12 step meeting or another program for your specific drug of choice. You’re used to being hit on, valued for the size of your breasts and shape of your ass. You’ve become accustomed to the cheap, meaningless compliments from guys, who use the word baby… Continue reading

A Tribute To Tim

  The following poems are by Author Jake D. Parent, and were written in memory of his beloved cousin Tim, whom died of a drug overdose in jail. Jake is also Co-Author and Editor of Hearts & Scars – 10 human stories of addiction, whom he dedicated to Tim also. Jake is the author of Only the Devil Tells the Truth, a novel about a young man growing up in poverty and dealing with addiction. The Hearts & Scars collection of stories shows how the deadly disease is a conflicted struggle, not simply of broken people, but one that encompasses the human condition that affects us all. The book consists of two sections. The first is a series of short fictional stories that portray individuals suffering from active addiction. The second is made up of real life tales of recovery, written by the people who experienced the journey themselves. The book… Continue reading

A Life I Couldn’t Accept – So I Made it Better

This October if I make it to October, because I take it one day at a time, I will be sober for two years. Back then, I was working full time in an office in the IT industry. I lived alone in a foreign country and entangled in a very co-dependant relationship with a friend who was not very well. We were not lovers but spent a ridiculous amount of time together. I saw my two kids only at the weekends, (luckily for us all) and I had debts that I couldn’t manage.  I couldn’t understand where all the money was going.  At one stage my bank card was cancelled because of my consistent over draft. My bills lay unopen for weeks, and I wouldn’t even open the letter box until I really needed to. I have failed at two long term partnerships, each lasting about seven years. My work… Continue reading