• Past Articles

What are the Best Protective Software Programs for Recovering Sex, Porn, and Love Addicts? Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

    For sex, porn, and love addicts, digital devices can be dangerous, providing instant and seemingly endless access to porn, hookup apps, social media flirtations, webcam encounters, prostitutes, virtual reality sex games, and more. For this reason, any person hoping to recover from sex, porn, and/or love addiction absolutely must install a “parental control” software program onto his or her computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, and other digital devices. The best products offer both filtering and accountability. In other words, they block problematic content, while also providing useful reports to the addict’s accountability partner(s). At this time, the best products for recovering sex, porn, and love addicts are: Net Nanny. Net Nanny’s Family Protection Pass costs $59.99 per year for up to five devices, $89.99 per year for up to ten devices, and $119.99 for up to fifteen devices. The software is usable on almost all digital devices, including Windows,… Continue reading

What’s Love Got To Do With It? – By Kyczy Hawk

If you remember the famous Tina Turner song, you remember the refrain: “What’s love but a second hand emotion.” That is the way it used to be. I loved you if my needs, thrills, cravings, or wants were being met. I didn’t see YOU, I saw my desires. I was loving the “if…then” experience, not the person. The second side to that was: “I loved me if you loved me.” I was not able to see me as a whole being in and of myself. I was lovable or acceptable if you saw me so; I was good if I was productive and did good things, I was bad if I was idle or when I did badly or poorly. It was all out there and not in here, in the heart of me. The way I didn’t see into the heart of “him” (except when defending or justifying a… Continue reading

Does Your Sex Addiction Drive Your Drug Addiction (and Vice Versa)? Robert Weiss

    Early this year, David Fawcett, author of Lust, Men, and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, and I conducted a seminar on the links between sex addiction and substance addiction – in particular methamphetamine abuse. David is an expert on meth addiction, especially in the gay community, and I am an expert on sexual addiction. Over the course of our careers, we have both seen a linkage between sex and drug addictions, with meth being the primary substance of choice. This is an issue that I too have written about – in my books Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction and Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men. In those publications, I discuss a wide range of cross and co-occurring addictions pairing with sexual addiction, with a focus on meth, as it seems to be the… Continue reading

Getting Close – From A Distance

“Anxiety looms and you think: This is why I drank. Sadness washes up: This is why I drank. Rage surfaces, or doubt or self-loathing: This is why I drank. Addictions, after all, are enormously self-protective. They’re coping mechanisms, antidotes to strong emotion.”   –   Caroline Knapp, from The Merry Recluse I remember the confusion that dating brought in my early 20’s. On my way out the door I’d just casually drop my keys on the counter of my built in bar, swing open a cabinet, pull out a bottle of my preferred alcoholic drink and take a swig. “Ah – Now I’m ready.” When I got into my date’s car I felt thankful I’d decided to take that drink. The glowing dash and dark leather. The music piping through his system all added to my discomfort. What the hell was I doing here? What two or three or four hours… Continue reading

InTheRooms.com – Where The World Joins Together In Recovery

There was a time when my recovery was confined to 12 step meetings in my own home group in my own little town, in my own corner of the world. That corner of the world would be Ireland, for those of you who have no idea who I am. Initially I didn’t really notice that the recovery rooms I frequented were full of the same faces with the same stories day after day. So eager was I to “get it” that I spent every ounce of energy I possessed soaking up what all these remarkable people had to say. What I heard was solid, unwavering recovery at its very best. I am blessed with my recovery fellowship and my first introduction to 12 step programs was so spiritually based that it has enabled me to end my love affair with every self sabotaging behavior – except for drinking too much… Continue reading