• Past Articles

Overcoming Incest – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

As a therapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues, I work with a lot of clients who have suffered (and sometimes committed) incest. Most of the time, they feel like they’re the only person who has ever experienced this. They feel deep shame, and they only reluctantly will discuss what happened. That is why a book like Donna Jenson’s recently published Healing My Life: From Incest to Joy is so important. This deeply personal memoir of incest and healing is incredibly powerful, mostly because it’s an honest account of the damage done by incest and the courage and persistence it takes to heal. With this book, Jenson chronicles the physical and spiritual steps she took to reclaim her life, never losing her sense of humor. Poignant, brave, and helpful, this memoir offers a much-needed testimony for anyone affected by incest. Jenson understands the pathway from pain to joy as well… Continue reading

Are You a Love Addict? – Vicki Tidwell Palmer LCSW, CSAT

  Love addiction sounds like it might be a fun thing to have. But it isn’t. It’s a serious form of codependency where you place such a high value on a romantic partner (or more than one romantic partner) that your relationship with that person (or people) becomes all-consuming and the primary focus of your life. Basically, love addicts spend inordinate amounts of time obsessing, ruminating, and seeking information about the other person—to the detriment of their own life. Like other addicts, love addicts typically come from abusive, addictive, or otherwise dysfunctional homes. Usually, they experienced emotional neglect and/or abandonment by one or both parents. This experience of neglect or abandonment creates within them, as children, intense anxiety—mostly because children depend upon their parents for their very survival. This anxiety surrounding important relationships becomes ingrained over time, and is carried forward into adulthood, manifesting as codependency and/or love addiction, until… Continue reading

What are the Best Protective Software Programs for Recovering Sex, Porn, and Love Addicts? Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

    For sex, porn, and love addicts, digital devices can be dangerous, providing instant and seemingly endless access to porn, hookup apps, social media flirtations, webcam encounters, prostitutes, virtual reality sex games, and more. For this reason, any person hoping to recover from sex, porn, and/or love addiction absolutely must install a “parental control” software program onto his or her computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, and other digital devices. The best products offer both filtering and accountability. In other words, they block problematic content, while also providing useful reports to the addict’s accountability partner(s). At this time, the best products for recovering sex, porn, and love addicts are: Net Nanny. Net Nanny’s Family Protection Pass costs $59.99 per year for up to five devices, $89.99 per year for up to ten devices, and $119.99 for up to fifteen devices. The software is usable on almost all digital devices, including Windows,… Continue reading

What’s Love Got To Do With It? – By Kyczy Hawk

If you remember the famous Tina Turner song, you remember the refrain: “What’s love but a second hand emotion.” That is the way it used to be. I loved you if my needs, thrills, cravings, or wants were being met. I didn’t see YOU, I saw my desires. I was loving the “if…then” experience, not the person. The second side to that was: “I loved me if you loved me.” I was not able to see me as a whole being in and of myself. I was lovable or acceptable if you saw me so; I was good if I was productive and did good things, I was bad if I was idle or when I did badly or poorly. It was all out there and not in here, in the heart of me. The way I didn’t see into the heart of “him” (except when defending or justifying a… Continue reading

Does Your Sex Addiction Drive Your Drug Addiction (and Vice Versa)? Robert Weiss

    Early this year, David Fawcett, author of Lust, Men, and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, and I conducted a seminar on the links between sex addiction and substance addiction – in particular methamphetamine abuse. David is an expert on meth addiction, especially in the gay community, and I am an expert on sexual addiction. Over the course of our careers, we have both seen a linkage between sex and drug addictions, with meth being the primary substance of choice. This is an issue that I too have written about – in my books Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction and Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men. In those publications, I discuss a wide range of cross and co-occurring addictions pairing with sexual addiction, with a focus on meth, as it seems to be the… Continue reading