Sexual Orientation vs. Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Sadly, there are men and women who engage in same-gender sexual and romantic behaviors who think that means they must be sex, porn, or love addicted. Generally, these individuals are not happy with the fact that they are sexually and romantically interested in their own gender – usually because their family, culture, and/or religion has told them there is something wrong with this. Based on this belief, they seek out (or are guided into) sex addiction treatment as a way of stopping their same-sex behaviors and changing their sexual/romantic desires. The first thing I tell these individuals is that same-gender attractions are completely unrelated to sexual addiction. Instead, sex, porn, and love addiction are identified by three factors: Preoccupation to the point of obsession with sexual and/or romantic fantasies and behaviors Loss of control over sexual and/or romantic fantasies and behaviors, typically evidenced by failed attempts to quit or cut… Continue reading

Cheating – Are You Honest In All Your “Affairs” – Podcast with Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions—in particular sex, porn, and love addiction. An internationally acknowledged clinician, he has served as a subject expert for multiple media outlets including The Oprah Winfrey Network, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Daily Beast, and CNN, among others. He is the author of several highly regarded books, including “Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating,” “Sex Addiction 101,” “Sex Addiction 101: The Workbook,” and “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men.” He is also the co-author, with Dr. Jennifer Schneider, of “Closer Together, Further Apart” and “Always Turned On: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age.” He blogs regularly for Psychology Today, Huffington Post, Psych Central, Counselor Magazine, I Love Recovery Café, and Mind Body Green. Robert and I had a wonderful chat recently, where… Continue reading

Recoverying from Narcissistic Abuse – By Michelle Lentini

Gaslighting: To manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Gaslighting is real, it is dangerous, and it is a very powerful tactic. I should know. I was preyed upon by a narcissist for four years. It was the most horrific, dreadful, frightening relationship I had ever been in. Most people who use this type of tactic on others to gain control have narcissistic or psychopathic character traits. I was in the middle of these relationships, with the most destructive behaviors present, yet I wasn’t fully aware of it most of the time. It was so subtle and gradual that it blindsided me. People who do this are experts and have probably been doing it to others all their lives. I was very vulnerable to being targeted by someone with narcissistic personality traits because of my addictions. However, even the most together, confident and intelligent people can get caught up… Continue reading

It’s Not You, It’s Me – By Kyczy Hawk

I have been through many a break up in my long life. I have been both the instigator and the one left behind. I have occasionally been part of a mutual decision to part ways. In my younger day’s most of the “dating” was done within the pack. We would pair up, be “the couple”, then break up. There would be the clustering of sympathy- sides would be taken, blame would be imposed and then life would resume. The parties (both myself and the other person) would show up sometime later, could be days, could be weeks, with another member of our group: arms circling each other’s waist, moony eyed and attached. Gut-punched or pleased, we would adapt and the churning would go on. A break-up, a re-attachment, the dance of love would continue. I learned the “it’s not you it’s me” phrase early on. In my twenties, the breakups… Continue reading

Lessons In Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

“You might as well face it you’re addicted to Love”   I really love that song. But it also kinda makes me cringe because it reminds me of how I used to think about love. I wasn’t addicted to love. I was addicted to being owned, admired, shown off. Plastic love with no depth. I’ll preform how you want me to and then you’ll love me. Yuck, I feel ill. Real love is not an addictive thing in my opinion because it is not remotely attached to anything negative…including addiction. In our obsessive, all consuming desire for the ever illusive true love, so many of us lose ourselves and fail to even understand what love is. It’s Impossible to define because it seems to mean different things to different people. I’m not an expert on love in any respect, but I can guarantee you, love from another person is not… Continue reading