Psyche. The totality of the mind; conscious and unconscious – Nicola O’Hanlon

  It’s been a tricky week. A week where I’ve been evaluating the triggers of a deep depression I’ve experienced for a month or two. Perhaps a bit longer. Gladly I seem to be out the other side of it, but boy was it brutal. It rendered me breathless, thoughtless and bottomless. It felt like a roller-coaster that was plummeting really fast, but I didn’t know when it would stop. However, I knew that it would. Stop. I don’t really get to the point of hopelessness anymore. Experience has taught me that it eventually ends. I’ve had bouts of serious depression which lasted years. I stopped questioning when it would end, because I’d forgotten what it was like to be depression free. I’d forgotten that there was a place where I could breathe, think and be grounded. The breathless, thoughtless, bottomless existence was normal then. I’d stopped looking for relief.… Continue reading

Retiring The Monkey

With a pending DWI and a nudge from the judge, I rushed into my 1st 12 step meeting – late. I had intended to get there on time, but my mind had other plans, as usual. Being responsible, considerate of others or punctual wasn’t my forte. Over the years, since my introduction to the program, I tried every way under the sun to stay sober – my way – only to meet with total failure by returning to drinking, isolation and, in the end, shaking my head and asking myself, “What happened?” Today, I’ve not only arrived at a place where I’m sober from alcohol, for 1 year now but I’m sober mentally and emotionally, as well, because I continue to grow along spiritual lines. Putting the plug in the jug, going to meetings, working the steps with a sponsor, reading recovery related material and thanking God throughout the day… Continue reading

He Likes To Be Asked

Thank you God for Guiding Me, My pen and My Thoughts. As I waver at the brink of darkness it threatens me with control. I remember to pray, the darkness recedes and bright God consciousness settles in its place. Many prayers have gone into this lovely shifting. Being sick and tired of revisiting that nightmare place, has turned my steps away from the brink in search of a better realness. One more suitable to a Child of God. He likes to be asked….. Thank you comes pretty easy for Me when I can clear away the wreckage and lift my face to the light.   Continue reading

InTheRooms.com – Where The World Joins Together In Recovery

There was a time when my recovery was confined to 12 step meetings in my own home group in my own little town, in my own corner of the world. That corner of the world would be Ireland, for those of you who have no idea who I am. Initially I didn’t really notice that the recovery rooms I frequented were full of the same faces with the same stories day after day. So eager was I to “get it” that I spent every ounce of energy I possessed soaking up what all these remarkable people had to say. What I heard was solid, unwavering recovery at its very best. I am blessed with my recovery fellowship and my first introduction to 12 step programs was so spiritually based that it has enabled me to end my love affair with every self sabotaging behavior – except for drinking too much… Continue reading

The Healing Power Of Love – By Paul Hellwig

I remember when my first spiritual teacher told me that love was the most important thing there was, that it could transcend and heal all things. I thought he was crazy….not the love I was familiar with. The love that I knew was learned from those perfect families on TV and any of that I received from my family came at too high a cost. So if that was what I needed to heal I’d rather stay broken. Little did I know how wrong that I was! My difficulty with love growing up was that I really didn’t know much about it. It was so rarely mirrored for me in my family so that my perception of what it was became skewed. I remember as a little boy waking up early in the morning and running into my parent’s room and jumping under the covers to snuggle with my father.… Continue reading