One Foot In Front Of The Other; One Breath At A Time – Kyczy Hawk

So simple. So hard. Not a lot to do and so easy to forget. The adrenaline intoxication wipes out the plan to keep it simple, maintain my boundaries, avoid that behavior, stop acting that way. I become wrapped up in the sensations of overwhelm and forget to pause. Really, I mean to use the pause, use the breath take a moment, consult my friend, my sponsor, my higher power, but I am already rushing down the path of self destruction. This mini-path of self destruction, or self forgetting, may not be a full relapse but unchecked it could lead to relapse. This tsunami of emotion may not wipe out weeks of devoted practice of living a sober life, but it can feel like a big detour. How to stop this train of false elation- these feelings that exalt those actions and attributes I am trying so hard to unlearn, retrain,… Continue reading

Where did that thought come from? Why won’t it go away? – By Kyczy Hawk

The mind is an amazingly persistent machine that pursues questions hoping to find an answer. What happens to the unanswerable questions? Why do un-answerable questions about situations from our past or concerns about the future plague us? Why does irritation show up as frustration, anger or depression? The mind motor over works, slips gear and then begins to overheat. Perseveration. Redundancy. Repetitiveness. Old stories told over and over again; past humiliations and pain regurgitated ad nauseum. I could puke at the pain of these old tales. YES it was important to get the images, the experiences, the feelings out there, out of the ferris wheel of my mind. I needed to work them through, tweazle the important nuggets of information and education that they had to offer. But, eventually, I need to let them go: those stories of pain caused and pain received. The times I was hurt and the… Continue reading

Why Breathe? – By Kyczy Hawk

Why Breathe? Silly question. You know- that dying thing. But what I mean here is – why breathe with consciousness, with intention, with volume? Why breathe deeply, deliciously, divinely? Breathing in a healthy deep manner can help heal your body, mind and spirit. It does this in several ways; cleansing, calming, recalibrating and revitalizing. Here are some principle benefits from learning and practicing a slow deep breath. The breath is one of the five ways that the body rids itself of toxins. It is beneficial to exhale deeply slowly and completely (not to the point of dizziness or exhaustion) but enough. This will allow the toxins to be removed from the nooks and crannies of the deepest recess of your lungs. A slow deep breathing rhythm can improve your cardiovascular system, lowering the blood pressure and increasing heart function. It can improve your respiratory system; keeping the ribs flexible will… Continue reading

Seeds of Your Spirit – By Kyczy Hawk

  I was never totally scum. Not before I started drinking and during my pre-recovery years. I was also not struck wonderful when I found recovery. However, when I share my story you might think that I was perfectly bad in my “before days” and steadily better on the road of “progress” with occasional bouts of perfection now. That is not the case. Not completely bad then, not thoroughly good now. The seeds of my true self were always there before I used, while I use and now, after I have stopped using. The little sprouts of my spiritual being popped up from  time to time in my youth and even in my using “career”. I was not totally one way or another, then or now. Reading the Big Book might give one the impression that we alcoholics are seething pots of self centeredness, self will; filled with self pity. … Continue reading

Add Some Color And Spice to Your Recovery – Kyczy Hawk

We are each of us unique and all of us similar. That is what makes recovery such a challenge and a blessing. I hear me in you, and yet, I process things in my own way. I am both an individual and a part of this clan. Ayurveda is the sister science to yoga. This ancient tradition also applies to people in modern society. It is the practice of restoring people to their personal original balance and constitution. Not all of us have the same constitution, but we each have something in common with one another. We are all forms of air, water, solids, vapor, chemicals, biology and so on. The ayurvedic practitioners have categorized all these into three main types, called “doshas”: Vata, Pitta and Kapha. There are no words into which to translate these- but they are easy enough to say. Here are some characteristics of each. (Please… Continue reading