• Past Articles

Finding Recovery in Recovery – By Jeanne Foot

We live in times where the pace is frenetic with constant stimulation through technology and endless demands which creates a negative impact on our brain and coping mechanisms. Our options as to how we spend our time are numerous. Our brains are overstimulated, and we have become a society that is addicted to the constant distractions and chaos. We have also become accustomed to having what we want and when a situation doesn’t go as planned, we have very little tolerance to accept reality. We may feel we either need to manipulate and control the situation to get the outcome we so desperately want, or alter our reality so we do not have to deal with it. There is a desperation present. We feel we need more control of our lives as we witness the volatility of our world today, with little idea as to how we can have influence… Continue reading

Are You Worried About Step 9? – Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

    Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. From step four onward, the twelve steps are primarily concerned with interpersonal relations—how you interact in and with the wider world. In a nutshell, you are asked to: Look back on your life and see where you have caused problems for yourself and others. Do what you can to repair the damage you have done. Live differently in the future. Steps eight and nine are the middle portion of this procedure—doing what you can to repair the damage you have done. After working step eight, you should have a list of people you have harmed, and you should have a plan for and be willing to make amends to them all. If so, you are ready to work step nine. Step nine should not be undertaken without first consulting your… Continue reading

The Importance of Effective Listening When Dealing With an Addicted Loved One – By Jackie Stein

  Stephen Covey is said to have communicated the following concept: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” In my opinion, truer words were never spoken.  Effective listening is a skill to develop where the listener is truly doing so with the intent to understand what is being conveyed.  In the life of a family dealing with addiction, effective listening is one of the more important skills that we can use to help us to communicate effectively with our loved one and with each other. As many of you know, I am a Balm© Family Recovery Life Coach, but before beginning my coaching career, I was a family member with an addicted loved one who attended the BALM© Comprehensive Family Program. One of the most important skills I learned as a family member of an addicted loved one and continue… Continue reading

Like The Song – The Steps Are a Dance – Kyczy Hawk

  I was on vacation with my family last week. We went to Texas – where it is all country music all the time. I LOVE country music – it is a secret vice of mine. Cruising in a van that could accommodate the seven of us – we were singing to the radio heading to see the Alamo. (Recovery is so great – repairs relationships and allows me to have experiences like this.) We were singing along to “Life’s A Dance” with the refrain…. “Life’s a dance you learn as you go Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow Don’t worry about what you don’t know Life’s a dance you learn as you go” (which I always heard as “you learn as you grow” which fits my understanding just fine.) Singing at the top of our lungs as we all know the words, it was a really fun moment of… Continue reading

Denial of Recovery – By William L. White

  The social stigma attached to addiction and addiction recovery inflicts innumerable harms to individuals, families, organizations, and communities. Two people in recovery recently emailed me sharing quite different dilemmas—each flowing from stigma-induced caricatures of addiction and recovery. In the first instance, people had no difficulty believing the individual’s addiction story because of his numerous, and quite public, drug-related falls from grace. Yet these same people withheld belief in his recovery status years into his stable recovery. Rumors periodically spread that he was using again—rumors that seemed impossible for him to source or stop. Normal sicknesses triggered suspicions of drug use. Any time anything went temporarily missing at a family gathering or at his workplace, suspicion immediately turned to him. Job promotions were withheld on the grounds that he might not be able to handle the stress of added responsibilities. People, as if walking on eggshells, perceived him as fragile… Continue reading