Speaking vs. Stuffing Your Truth – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

Most of us do not easily speak our truth. Our behavior is determined by years of conditioning. We are told, “Be nice and polite,” and “Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.” We may be so bogged down with shoulds and shouldn’ts that we find it hard to identfy our true feelings and needs, much less respectfully and responsibly communicate them to others. There are basically four options when it comes to speaking vs. stuffing your truth: Option number one is to stuff our truth down — also known as passivity, and this can potentially lead to problems with substance abuse and/or feelings of depression. Option number two is to blast our truth out — also known as aggression. This can be seen as violence, yelling, road rage, or even being sarcastic or mean. Option three is a combo plate, which is known as passive-aggressive. It might seemkind, but it is really aggressive. For… Continue reading

Less Pushing More Allowing – Nicola O’Hanlon

I’d like us to think about that concept for a moment and consider what it means. We so often that we much push for what we want, work harder and faster, put all our effort into out goals until we have nothing left to give. But is that really the best way to achieve what we want? Let’s do a short visualization to help us connect with what Less Pushing and More Allowing means to you. It may be different for each person. Sit comfortably in your chair. Feel your feet flat on the floor, back against the chair, shoulders relaxed. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable for you. Take a deep breath in through your nose until your lungs are filled to capacity, hold…….and let go out through your mouth. Do this breathing exercise three times. Now I want you to become very aware of yourself, and when I… Continue reading

Days in The Life of an Adult Child – Enough – By Sherry Hawn

As a young woman I never saw myself as an addict or a broken person. I smugly believed that since I hadn’t been arrested, hospitalized, medicated or forced to undergo EST, and I didn’t take alcohol or drugs, that I had narrowly escaped what seemed to grip my entire family of origin in one way or another. Over the years various family therapists inquired whether I was afraid of being found mentally ill and, of course, I shrugged these misguided questions off instantly. Considering that I worked, went to school, lived on my own, and was seemingly successful by worldly standards, I felt superior, and dare I say, blessed even though I had paralyzing fear and insecurity hidden in my soul. Yes, weight was always a matter of concern, but I wasn’t obese. I was able to camouflage the flesh, I thought, and periodically attempted dieting. Unlike weight, several other… Continue reading

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Battling Depression – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

I spent many years in and out of depression, and while I felt very much alone at the time, I know now that I was not. Millions of people battle the dark depths of depression every day. Like many others, I kept most of my painful thoughts and feelings to myself. When I finally got desperate enough to reach out for professional help, it took a long time for me to actually believe and integrate the guidance that I was given. Here are some key truths I have come to believe. If you are struggling with depression, I hope you will too. 1. Don’t believe everything you think. We all have our share of losses and challenges in life. But the main cause of depression is not usually our life circumstances. It is our thinking. Unfortunately, when we are depressed, we tend to believe our thoughts. And the mind of a… Continue reading

What are the Consequences of People Pleasing? – Nicola O’Hanlon

Do some of the following scenarios sound familiar to you? There is just not enough time to care for yourself. Your health is compromised because there is just no time to exercise or prepare nutritious food. There’s a constant running from one commitment to another and your needs are last on the list – SELF NEGLECT. You feel like you are suppressing anger a lot, but because you are a kind and compassionate person, your anger stays stuck inside with no outlet. You notice certain things in your personality seeping out – passive aggressive behaviour that’s really not you, sharp comments to people who really don’t deserve it or cynical viewpoints not usual for you. These characteristics show up and feel like they are uncontrollable, yet the things you are really angry about stay locked away – ANGER AND RESENTMENT. You’re struggling to enjoy social activity. You’re there in body,… Continue reading