Intentions and Resolutions – Excerpt from “Life In Bite Sized Morsels” By Kyczy Hawk

I learn so much from people at meetings. A month or so ago we were talking about intentions, and a woman said she “found the results of her intentions in her crisper bin.” We all burst out laughing, because we all know that drawer in the fridge—the one with exotic vegetables: celery root, kale, mustard greens, varieties of eggplants large and small, wizened mushrooms and fungus, as well as the traditional salad-makings and snacking carrots. I buy them in a passion for healthy eating, preparing new dishes and tasting new flavors. I get them all at once, not realizing there is no possible way to consume them all before they become limp, pale shadows of their previous snappy, robust selves. The worst case is they all get purchased, put away, and then forgotten until they dissolve into a hard-to-discern soup or paste. I toss them out in shame, another good… Continue reading

Nonsense – There’s Nothing Wrong

The illusion of uncertainty masks the depravity of the fear I feel locked in the void of not knowing but not wanting to stop either Looking out at the endless rain and mucky landscape there is always something else to ponder aways a sense of not being there yet And not knowing where the hell I’m supposed to be going I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time Or what sense I’m making to the world Or it to me Should be Supposed to rattle around my mind irritating to the point of angry insanity and if I just stopped for a second to listen to myself and disregard the nonsense I’d be just fine Continue reading

Wishes for The World – By Nicola O’Hanlon

Last night I sat in a circle with 124 other women. The questions were asked. What are you done with? What are you ready to scrub off yourself? What have you processed and cooked and beat to death this year? What are you ready to throw on the compost pile. I stress the word compost here. All that work I did on whatever I’m now ready to throw off is worth something. Worth a lot. Invaluable in fact. It will nourish the rest of the Earth with its wisdom and lessons. The dried up blood I shed will mix with the earth and become part of the soil. I closed my eyes in the dark. Placing my hand on my heart, I knew exactly what I was done with. It presented itself, making me sick to my stomach. It didn’t want to leave me though. In my minds’ eye I… Continue reading

These Stars Tonight – By Aaron Perry (aka SobrSoldier)

I never planned for any of this to happen. But fuck, who does, I think to myself as I stand outside smoking a cigarette. It’s cold out. Winter approaches. Sky full of stars. Trees are all dead. Car windows frosted. It’s two in the morning. Can’t sleep but that’s nothing new. I like the cold. It tells me I’m alive. After all, I should be dead. Two hundred and fifty days ago I tried to end it, the only way I knew how. The only exit I could see was to die. That’s a lie. The only exit I chose to see was suicide because the other ways out scared me more than that. Now isn’t that some fucked up shit. I would rather swing from a tree than face the truth. To admit my wrong doings. To ask for forgiveness. I was a multi-decade drunk, an opiate junky, a… Continue reading

Combating Stress – Reflexology, Massage & Mindful Living.

With the ever increasing demands on us to function in our high pressure world, many of us find we live in a constant state of high alert and anxiety. I myself, spent over a decade in sustained high stress situations and having to deal with the reality of my shattered life in recovery, without anything to numb the pain was tough. I was constantly physically ill and having type 1 diabetes for 30 years didn’t help. The effects of stress on our bodies generally cannot be avoided. Designed to help us survive under threatening situations, the fight or flight response releases hormones into our system. Oxytocin from the pituitary gland, adrenaline from the adrenal glands and Insulin and glucagon from the pancreas affect our blood sugar, blood pressure and energy levels. When in danger, these hormones secrete into our system to give us the required energy and heightened sensory ability… Continue reading