What is your Vision Plan for Recovery as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic? – Christine Beck

Adult Children of Alcoholics’ first promise states that “We will discover our real identities [our True Self] by loving and accepting ourselves.” Many of the other promises contain qualities that our True Self will attain, such as being playful and fun or learning how to be both vulnerable and intimate. These and other program promises sound wonderful, but how do we attain them? For me, the answer is much more than going to meetings and working the steps.  I need to carry program principles into specific actions in every area of my life, including my work, family and relationships. And I need to write down action steps, to keep myself accountable. I looked at my life and wrote a personal vision statement for how to become my True Self in ACA, but also at home, with family and friends and with the work I do in the world: I will… Continue reading

The Girl with the Light Brown Eyes – By Lisa Perez

I remember the first time that my father looked at me—really looked at me. I was in his car when my eyes caught a ray of sunlight pouring in through the windshield. He said something like, “Oh! Wow, baby girl. You really have light brown eyes!”  For the first time in my life, I felt as though I was seen. Most of my life, I’d been invisible. As first-born, I represented everything from my parent’s shortcomings to their dreams and aspirations. I didn’t know this, of course.  I barely knew the story of my infancy and just how much I was unwanted. As I grew up, I’d be told time and time again that “children should be seen and not heard.”  The trouble with that was that I wasn’t seen. At all. Now, after years of searching and reaching across caverns of knowledge, I can at least, admit who I… Continue reading

Dawn Clancy on her new online study course for ACOAs (podcast)

“I wanted to design a course that was a one stop shop as well as having access to a supportive community. It’s kind of what I wish I had when I came into recovery first.”   Following on from our last podcast with Dawn Clancy of Growing Up Chaotic, we disucss Dawns new first ever online group study course for Adult Children of Alcoholics. You can sign up for notification of enrolement here We talk about how ACOA 101 is different from 12 step ACOA groups, why it’s important for Adult Children coming from any kind of dysfunctional upbring to seek recovery, and what you can expect from the course ACOA 101 which opens for enrolement on January 18th. Continue reading

Podcast with Dawn Clancy from Growing Up Chaotic

I spoke to Dawn Clancy recently, creator of Growing Up Chaotic, a community for friends and families of addicts and survivors of abuse. Dawn and I met originally when we both wrote for AfterPartyMagazine. She shares some of her story with us and gives us some great advice on how to live a functional life, despite growing up chaotic! Continue reading

Alone – By Jessica Donovan

    Where were you when I was sitting alone in the parking lot of the motel we called home? Where were you when I picked up that needle and stuck myself with it? Where were you? You knew he had HIV/AIDS. I used to cry and feel so lonely without you there. So I would go outside and play by myself. In the parking lot of the motel we lived in. Where the heroin needle lay. The one my HIV infected uncle likely dropped on his way in. I never knew where you were but when you found me sitting on the asphalt with a needle sticking out of my thumb that got your attention. Crisis averted, I didn’t get infected. Lucky for me, not you. All I ever wanted was you to be there but you always left me alone or sent me away. I didn’t understand. I… Continue reading