Just Like Amy

I wonder sometimes, where I’d be now, if I hadn’t stopped drinking and popping xanax. I’ve been advised over and over not to “what if” myself into a bout of anxiety. I get anxious easily. But my mind goes there, now and then. Especially when things are going well. And things are going well right now. They have been for quite some time. I’m not used to this new method of experiencing the world. It seems a bit morbid, even to me, to think these thoughts. But being unaccustomed to stuff working in my favour, my mind tends to wander back to where it dwelled for most of my life. In the immortal words of Amy Winehouse, I go “Back to Black”. I’m still distrustful of my thought process at times. But this type of contemplation makes me grateful. At least that’s my understanding of it. I imagine I might… Continue reading