His Addiction Was My Addiction – By Amy Tompkins Albanese

A memory from 2 years ago popped up on my timeline this morning. We’d been invited to Palm Desert for a long weekend by clients of my husband. It was always difficult for me to enjoy these trips – what if this was the weekend that something tragic happened to Michael? What if the cops came to the house or tried to call? I considered leaving my cell phone number taped to the front door. I worried myself sick over how we’d politely excuse ourselves if we had to leave, (because we surely wouldn’t tell them our son was a drug addict, would we?), and how I’d break the news to my “head in the sand” husband, and endure the drive back home. Michael chose this weekend to lie to his best friend/partner in crime. “E”, who momentarily grew a conscience, decided to send me a series of texts, defending… Continue reading

My Super Powers And How to Use them Wisely

I have super powers. I was taught them early in life. I can walk into a room and sense how people are feeling. I can tell if there has been an argument or if there is peace. I have honed my skills to be able to respond and “perform” according to what I think others need: a clown, an organizer, a quiet mouse, a valiant protector. I used these skills to keep myself safe, to find control in an ever-changing landscape in a dysfunctional home. I used these skills to find some measure of security by matching my insides to other people’s outsides so, at least, it looked like we were getting along. As a child I was (mostly) very well behaved, and tried to be pleasing to the adults, helpful to the max; taking care of the other kids, running errands, cleaning up. I took responsibility, at a gut… Continue reading