Self-Punishment to Self-Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

One of the root causes of my addictive personality has always been self-hatred. Despite many years in therapy, I’m not sure when it started or if it’s completely ended yet. However, self-love and acceptance is definitely obtained easier and in a gentler manner for me these days. There was a time I felt that everything about me was ugly, both inside and out. Subsequently, that feeling brought about an urge to punish myself, in the hopes of whipping myself into shape, mentally, emotionally and definitely physically. I loved pushing myself to extreme limits in all areas of my life – especially when it came to my physical appearance. Exercise and food control were once the most important part of my life. I would wake in the morning, and my first thought would be about what I was going to eat, or not eat, and how many calories I could burn… Continue reading