What is Ambiguous Grief? – By Sophia Caudle, PhD, LPC-S, CSAT-S

Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018). Ambiguous grief is typically not identified as grief when we are feeling it. Mental health clinicians might misdiagnose ambiguous grief as depression or trauma, and many others of us have never heard the term ‘ambiguous grief’. Pauline Boss, coined the term ‘ambiguous loss’ which is the loss that occurs without closure or understanding, however the feeling state… Continue reading

“Thy Will, not mine, be done.” – A look at dealing with life and sobriety, after death.

Today, as well as tomorrow, is quite a tough time for me, as it has been for the last seven years. On May 14, 2010, my partner Lesley, whom I had made my sober life with, suffered a massive heart attack. Looking back on that time, I can see the trauma that we all went through. By all, I refer to Lesley’s Mother, her sister, several close family friends and, of course, myself. Had it not been for a strong belief in the program and a very strong sponsor I can see that, at that time, it would have been so easy for me to return to my confidant for so many years, the bottle. This time of year is when I must make sure my head and my emotions are closely tuned to Twelve Steps and my Higher Power. Up until that time, I had gotten sober, lived on… Continue reading

Defending My Grief: A Mothers Point of View – By MaryBeth Cichocki 

  Grief is described as a multifaceted response to loss, particularly if the loss is someone to which a bond of affection is formed. To me, there is no greater bond of affection than a mother and her child. Mothers love their children from the first second that stick shows a plus sign. I fell in love with both my boys the minute I knew they existed. Dreaming of hair and eye color. Buying clothes and decorating a place both in my home and in my heart for the son who would give me a reason to be. Who would change my heart as no one else. Some little person, so fragile yet so precious who would give my life meaning like nothing I would ever experience again. Only a mother can ever come close to the feeling of holding a new life seconds after birth. Only a mother who… Continue reading

Mothers Are Not Supposed To Bury Their Children – By MaryBeth Cichocki

Mothers are not supposed to bury their children. It goes against nature. When a mother loses her young, the world slips off its axis and spins out of control. The universe mourns knowing it has gone against the circle of life, children should bury their mothers, not the other way around. Yet every day, another mother joins my club. The club of the brokenhearted, the club every mother prays to avoid. The club where one day you were whole and the next broken beyond repair. Breath and joy have been sucked out of your body and replaced with a pain so powerful, your soul is lost in the grief. Your world shattered beyond repair. Your child is gone. A victim of a horrible disease. A misunderstood, mistreated disease. The disease that marked them as unworthy and disposable. The disease of addiction. Your grief is never ending. It begins as you… Continue reading