The Generosity of Receiving Help – Kyczy Hawk

I was walking the other day, thinking about my daughter with whom I had just had a pleasant phone call. I am so proud of her, I love her loving heart, her pragmatic approach to life, the generosity she holds for her family, house and home; welcoming to others and being informal so that all can feel comfortable in her presence. She also doesn’t need me one bit. That is not surprising as she is a woman in her early forties. She has a husband, three kids, a career and a community. She has made a good life for herself and her family. And she doesn’t need me one bit. She has lyme disease and experiences knee pain on occasion. She eats well to minimize as much impact as she can. Even during home remodel she kept a good attitude; which for me is impossible when I am in pain.… Continue reading

Planning For A Retreat – Santosha and Letting Go March 2 – 4 2018

I have been holding Santosha (contentment) retreats for four years. This year is my fifth. Each of the topics is designed to investigate and address something that harms our contentment; preventing us of enjoying peace. This year I am presenting aspect of letting go. What is so difficult about letting go? Why do we hold on and what is it, about ANY issue or choice, are we really holding on to? Holding on is uncomfortable and letting go opens us to something we… can’t imagine- this change possibly feeling even more uncomfortable. Leaving a job, getting a new job, graduating or starting school, leaving home, starting a new family, going into or out of a relationship- all of these changes require a letting go. We have preferences, we have hopes, and we may also struggle with control. Ultimately, however we need to let go and turn over outcomes to our… Continue reading

Thoroughness From the Very Start – By Kyczy Hawk

Recovery is a program of action. We are encouraged to “participate in our own recovery”, to work the twelve steps until they work IN us. Being complete, being exhaustive in our efforts is highly recommended. In the big book of AA we are nearly promised a life free of relapse when we practice the principles completely and with devotion. “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path..” intimating that anything less was doomed. One of my character defects is perfectionism. Another is procrastination. I both want to do things in an exemplary fashion and the other part of me fears that I cannot be perfect – so why even start. The thinking steps: one, two and three, were philosophically troubling and I was warned continually “not to worry”, to do my best, so I just gave it a good thinking and moved on. Step Four… Continue reading

Yoga to Combat Depression – Kyczy Hawk

““Yoga gives us an active role in healing. And by slowing down mental chatter through breath work, it helps facilitate self-acceptance,”  – Yoga International What a lovely promise. Depression hurts so much it would be wonderful for there to be a simple answer to healing and avoiding it. Simple but not easy is what we learn in the rooms of recovery. Self-care and self-acceptance sound straight forward, but the effort is overwhelming if you start the process when you are deep in depression. A key is practice. Three actions to help with depression: Practice self-care for prevention Return to self-care before an emotional “emergency” Use three forms – so you can have them to choose from (anytime and anywhere) Breath Meditation Hatha – pose or asana practice Addiction and a familiarity with depression often go hand in hand. Some say addiction is a process of “self-medication” for symptoms of anxiety,… Continue reading

SELF-ESTEEM: Tips, Tricks & Traps – by Kyczy Hawk

I came to recovery broken. I came to recovery having lost all sense of self. I had a huge sense of what I had needed; another drink, another line, another pill – anything- I just needed something!  Until I didn’t. Until I had only one thing left to lose: my being. The day after I had taken my last drink, and NO, I didn’t know at the time it would be my last, but that day, that morning I woke up, sitting on the edge of the bed – looking out at nothing. I felt lost and doomed. I felt that if I did this one more time, if I drank and drugged just one more time, I would walk out on what was left of my life. I would walk out of my dingy infested room, out the front door and turn my back on the last bits of… Continue reading