What’s Love Got To Do With It? – By Kyczy Hawk

If you remember the famous Tina Turner song, you remember the refrain: “What’s love but a second hand emotion.” That is the way it used to be. I loved you if my needs, thrills, cravings, or wants were being met. I didn’t see YOU, I saw my desires. I was loving the “if…then” experience, not the person. The second side to that was: “I loved me if you loved me.” I was not able to see me as a whole being in and of myself. I was lovable or acceptable if you saw me so; I was good if I was productive and did good things, I was bad if I was idle or when I did badly or poorly. It was all out there and not in here, in the heart of me. The way I didn’t see into the heart of “him” (except when defending or justifying a… Continue reading

Lessons In Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

“You might as well face it you’re addicted to Love”   I really love that song. But it also kinda makes me cringe because it reminds me of how I used to think about love. I wasn’t addicted to love. I was addicted to being owned, admired, shown off. Plastic love with no depth. I’ll preform how you want me to and then you’ll love me. Yuck, I feel ill. Real love is not an addictive thing in my opinion because it is not remotely attached to anything negative…including addiction. In our obsessive, all consuming desire for the ever illusive true love, so many of us lose ourselves and fail to even understand what love is. It’s Impossible to define because it seems to mean different things to different people. I’m not an expert on love in any respect, but I can guarantee you, love from another person is not… Continue reading

The Healing Power Of Love – By Paul Hellwig

I remember when my first spiritual teacher told me that love was the most important thing there was, that it could transcend and heal all things. I thought he was crazy….not the love I was familiar with. The love that I knew was learned from those perfect families on TV and any of that I received from my family came at too high a cost. So if that was what I needed to heal I’d rather stay broken. Little did I know how wrong that I was! My difficulty with love growing up was that I really didn’t know much about it. It was so rarely mirrored for me in my family so that my perception of what it was became skewed. I remember as a little boy waking up early in the morning and running into my parent’s room and jumping under the covers to snuggle with my father.… Continue reading

An In-depth review of “A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery – By Rosemary O’Connor. Love Relationships & Super Mom – Review By Jackie S.

Hello fellow travelers and welcome to the next installment of my review of Rosemary O’Connor’s book dealing with multiple issues facing moms in recovery, with a focus on taking care of both yourself and your children. This week my reading partner and I tackled two chapters. The first focused on the Love Relationship in recovery, especially in early recovery. The second chapter deals with a mother’s obsessive attempts to be Supermom, both before and during recovery. The primary theme of both chapters is that relationships can be very dysfunctional if we don’t work at them all the time. The primary automatic negative thought from both chapters that we have told ourselves throughout our lives is that we are not enough. Time to stop both dysfunctional behaviors. Rosemary begins her chapter on love relationships telling the story of relationships among people in early recovery. While there have been anecdotal instances of… Continue reading

Love Attracts Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

The eternal quest to find the perfect life partner – that “someone” we connect with on every level – is something we all crave. If we just find that right person, our whole lives will transform into magic. Having someone to spend our days and nights with, share the highs and lows with and make love with, will definitely enhance our existence – when we are emotionally available enough to create such a connection. When we come into recovery having left our addictive behaviour behind, we often feel a huge loss. A grief of sorts. It’s at this time we are most vulnerable and find ourselves filling that gap with relationships that may end up being detrimental to our wellbeing. Those who are already in relationships are presented with their own set of problems and struggle with the immense surge of feelings and emotions experienced in early recovery. The dynamics… Continue reading