Do You Have An Expiration Date On Your Expansion? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

  My dentist peered into my open mouth, “We’ll have to take the bonding off your tooth if we want to do Invisalign.” (Clear braces). As a middle child, I fell into the category of “good enough.” My older sister needed braces, a dermatologist and a counselor. My younger brother needed glasses and an allergist.  In my family, resource allocation was on an as needed basis and even though my teeth weren’t great, they were good enough. As an adult, I became increasingly aware of my misalignment and how it looked when I spoke.  I was beginning to have more public exposure and didn’t like how, in photographs, two teeth always looked as if they were missing because they were recessed. I had minor orthodontia in my 40’s, but overtime I stopped wearing my retainer and my teeth returned to their recessed positions. The worst tooth was in the center… Continue reading

What Am I Looking For? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

“What am I looking for?”…. ….I asked myself as I stood before the open refrigerator door. My brain was on multi-tasking steroids, running a thousand thoughts of what I had to do, who I had to talk to and I stood there clueless. I had arrived at a place I knew I was meant to be, but, “What was I looking for?” “What am I looking for?” This is a resourceful question to ask your brain, especially by saying it aloud.  The brain’s life purpose is to solve the questions/problems. Ask it the right question and it gets to work…. AHHHH LIMES! That’s what I needed from the refrigerator. My clients are always asking What Am I looking for?   This bigger all-encompassing life question seems to carry a heavier feeling. Yearning. Longing.  Maybe frustration and despair. We are always asking, “What am I looking for?” because as long as we are alive and evolving, we… Continue reading

How A Resource Anchor Keeps You Afloat – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

I popped open the lid of the shower gel and breathed in the scent. Paris, 2004, The George V hotel. It was the scent of money and luxury, definitely pre-2008. It was a shower gel I’d taken as a souvenir from the hotel and now 12 years later, I was instantly teleported to smelling, seeing, hearing, and feeling what I experienced in that sweet moment in time. Scent is our most primal sensory organ instantaneously linking and transporting us to another dimension. Yet  all  of our senses contribute to an ongoing storage system of memories deeply embedded in our neurology. Simply put, these “anchors” are a connection between a stimulus and emotional response. Like it or not we are conditioned with these stimulus response opportunities all the time, whether it’s the scent of chocolate chip cookies anchoring us to a sweet time in our childhood, or a song firing off a memory of a hot hookup… Continue reading

What’s on Your Gift List? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

As we slam into the end of the year it seems we can’t avoid the bombardment of messages telling us to buy buy buy. Yet, by next year it’s likely whatever was bought this year will either be broken, out of fashion, not the Apple 8, or lost and forgotten.  But there is something you can put on your list that will grow and flourish over the coming year. Forgiveness. Like the disclaimers flashing, Don’t Try this At Home, you, too, should exercise caution. Before leaping into the seemingly impossible practice of forgiveness for the parent who abandoned you, the lover who cheated on you, or the partner who embezzled from you … Start with yourself. What does forgive actually mean?  for·give [fərˈɡiv] VERB To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake: That someone could be YOU. Beyond the definition, a hidden message appears… Continue reading

The Gift Of Feeling Blue – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

  Blue, Baby, Blue One of my clients recently lamented, “I always feel blue around the holidays.” How often have you, or someone else, said the very same thing? Anxiousness & Isolation are the primary complaints. How ironic we feel isolation when it turns out there’s plenty of company with those same feelings. Is this particular feeling of malaise amplified by all the apparent  “merry and bright” outside? With all the Ho Ho Ho‘ing what makes some people feel so Ho Hum ? Is it simply the contrast of what we think we should feel, (because we believe everyone else is so much happier) that makes us feel more acutely BLUE? Knowing our words don’t describe our lives they create them, I got curious about the expression. Where did “feeling blue” come from and what does it mean? Dating back as early as the mid 1800’s , “feeling blue”  suggested a… Continue reading