What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

In a recent blog, I wrote about speaking your truth when you are upset with someone, rather than stuffing it down or blasting it out. To that end, I wanted to share some practical one-liners for those times when you are caught off-guard. Many of us feel like a deer in headlights when someone says something insulting, hurtful, or presumptuous, and we have no comeback prepared. Like learning any new language, the language of assertive yet respectful communication takes practice. So here are some ideas for you: What makes you ask that? What makes you say that? I’ll have to get back to you on that. I need to take some time and think about it. That’s not going to work for me. Ouch. That hurts. I know I agreed to do that, but I changed my mind. I’m very sorry. I understand that’s how you feel. And this is… Continue reading

Sometimes Adults Need Tantrums, Too! – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

When I was studying to become a psychotherapist, a professor told me that people generally seek therapy for one of two reasons: They are either having a tantrum or they need to have one! I have actually counseled people for many additional reasons but the tantrum tip has stuck with me over the years. And as I have worked with clients’ issues (as well as my own), I have recognized the importance of an occasional adult tantrum. Tantrums are usually associated with children and are often considered unpleasant and unwanted. But what about a healthy, grown-up tantrum? What about making a conscious decision to welcome up our emotions rather than stuff them in or lash them out? We all experience bumps in the road that trigger emotions. These bumps can range from minor irritations to challenging hardships to major traumas. A flat tire, a root canal, lost luggage: not fun, but likely something you’ll… Continue reading

Advantages of Being Highly Sensitive – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

Chances are, if you are a highly sensitive person, you are no stranger to being told that you are “too sensitive.” For many people, this comment feels like an insult, but in fact, there are some considerable advantages that come along with being a highly sensitive person. When I was a kid, I used to think that everyone was equally as sensitive as I was. I figured everyone took everything to heart like I did– they just didn’t admit it. I was sure that my siblings cowered inside like I did when our parents scolded us. I was certain that all my friends were as crushed as I was when a budding romance did not bloom into a full-blown relationship. I thought everyone wanted to die if they made a mistake or disappointed someone. It took many years for me to realize that we are not all the same breed. Some people are not… Continue reading

Life Needs Tidying – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

  Two crumpled receipts:  1 from Costco,1 from Ralph’s, 1 double-sided shopping list, 1 yellow post it note scribbled in blue ink: “Thanks for the loan PT,”  3 pellets of hard dog food & a tablespoonful of sand. This is what I found at the bottom my laundry basket, after I hoisted a heaping double armload of crumpled whites. Life needs tidying. Mine is a mostly tidy house as long as you don’t open a cabinet or drawer. Until someone comes over, I think my house is tidier than it is. Then I notice every little out-of-place detail: An unfolded towel, a cup left on the counter, a paperclip by the sink, a hair scrunchie abandoned on the couch. Yes, every room in my house could use some straightening. Life needs tidying, but no matter how clean the rooms are, I have a nagging sense something else needs tidying. At… Continue reading

Nurturing Yourself to Combat Anxiety (and a little bit about my Women’s Holistic Coaching Experience coming to InTheRooms.com – By Nicola O’Hanlon

  With the ever increasing demands on us to function in our high pressure world, many of us find we live in a constant state of high alert and anxiety. I myself, spent over a decade in sustained high stress situations (probably longer than that if the truth be told) and having to deal with the reality of my shattered life in recovery, without anything to numb the pain was tough. I was constantly physically ill and having type 1 diabetes for 30 years didn’t help. If I had used the knowledge I possessed from my training as a Reflexologist and Therapeutic Masseuse some 15 years earlier, I would have found the recovery process easier. However, having presence of mind to do anything in a logical and calm manner was impossible. I wasn’t sleeping. I was in a constant state of anxiety. There was conflict within family relationships and caring… Continue reading