Can Recovering Sex Addicts Still Have Sex? (Hint: Yes, They Can.) – By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Sex addicts new to recovery typically have little to no idea how to define sexual sobriety. Sometimes they worry that sexual sobriety is the same as chemical sobriety, where permanently abstaining is the ultimate goal. Many say that if that is the case, they’ll stick with their addiction thank you very much. And would anyone fault them for this? Happily, sex addiction recovery is less like recovery from substance abuse and more like recovery from an eating disorder, where the goal is learning how to eat in healthy ways rather than abstaining entirely, which would obviously be a very bad idea. As such, long-term recovery from sex addiction does not mean addicts can never have sex again. Instead, sexual recovery is a process of learning to be sexual in life-affirming, relationship-affirming, non-compulsive, and non-problematic ways. Nevertheless, most newly recovering sex addicts are asked in treatment to take a 30, 60,… Continue reading

An In-depth review of “A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery – By Rosemary O’Connor. Love Relationships & Super Mom – Review By Jackie S.

Hello fellow travelers and welcome to the next installment of my review of Rosemary O’Connor’s book dealing with multiple issues facing moms in recovery, with a focus on taking care of both yourself and your children. This week my reading partner and I tackled two chapters. The first focused on the Love Relationship in recovery, especially in early recovery. The second chapter deals with a mother’s obsessive attempts to be Supermom, both before and during recovery. The primary theme of both chapters is that relationships can be very dysfunctional if we don’t work at them all the time. The primary automatic negative thought from both chapters that we have told ourselves throughout our lives is that we are not enough. Time to stop both dysfunctional behaviors. Rosemary begins her chapter on love relationships telling the story of relationships among people in early recovery. While there have been anecdotal instances of… Continue reading

A Sexual Abuse Survivor In Recovery – By Marty Jones

WARNING: Contains sensitive material. The violation began at an early age for me….and not just by one person. I’ve had years of therapy and talked about it endlessly yet nothing can replace the part of me that they stole. Some of it I blanked out for years. I refused to let my thoughts go there. Of course drugs and alcohol do a superb job of removing memories, or at least sedating them. I buried the thoughts and memories deeply, believing that if I didn’t entertain them I would be okay. But the evidence of sexual abuse plagued my entire life and I didn’t even realize it. “You don’t know how to be treated by men, or by anyone,” …a friend informed me a few months ago. And they are right. As much as I hate to accept that fact, my friend is perfectly, disturbingly and incredibly right. I have a… Continue reading

Sexting To Fill The Void – By Patty Powers

For readers of a certain age who may be asking themselves “What’s Sexting?” It’s the act of sending sexy text messages which may include sexually explicit images (often personal). It’s the 21st century version of spin the bottle or strip poker but with higher stakes. It’s a way to bring sexual intrigue to the forefront of the conversation. The main difference is that you don’t even have to be part of the game to experience it. For example, last weekend I was shown a bunch of pretty graphic pornographic images of men and women who probably never gave a second thought to what would become of these personal photos when they were hitting the send button on their phone. And no – I didn’t ask to see them. This past year I’ve read numerous news stories about teenagers (young women mostly) who’ve committed suicide after nude photos they sent to… Continue reading

Sober Heartbreak: By Marty Jones

“In short, the greatest gift of relationship proves to be that as the result of encountering each other, we are obliged to grow larger than we had planned.”……James Hollis I thought of a drink today. Thankfully that thought made me sick. I also toyed with the idea of a sparkly white line of speed, once my favorite drug; that made me sick too. Apparently I’m recovered enough to pass on the chemicals. And apparently I’m recovered enough to pass on begging and pleading and standing on my head for you….fucking good for me! The pain in my chest from the loss of you though is enough to kill the strongest human. I must admit there are moments during the day I think I’m going to keel over and that will be that, but I’m not dead yet….and I’m not going to die either motherfucker. Your favorite way to describe me… Continue reading