What are the Consequences of People Pleasing? – Nicola O’Hanlon

Do some of the following scenarios sound familiar to you? There is just not enough time to care for yourself. Your health is compromised because there is just no time to exercise or prepare nutritious food. There’s a constant running from one commitment to another and your needs are last on the list – SELF NEGLECT. You feel like you are suppressing anger a lot, but because you are a kind and compassionate person, your anger stays stuck inside with no outlet. You notice certain things in your personality seeping out – passive aggressive behaviour that’s really not you, sharp comments to people who really don’t deserve it or cynical viewpoints not usual for you. These characteristics show up and feel like they are uncontrollable, yet the things you are really angry about stay locked away – ANGER AND RESENTMENT. You’re struggling to enjoy social activity. You’re there in body,… Continue reading

What’s on Your Gift List? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

As we slam into the end of the year it seems we can’t avoid the bombardment of messages telling us to buy buy buy. Yet, by next year it’s likely whatever was bought this year will either be broken, out of fashion, not the Apple 8, or lost and forgotten.  But there is something you can put on your list that will grow and flourish over the coming year. Forgiveness. Like the disclaimers flashing, Don’t Try this At Home, you, too, should exercise caution. Before leaping into the seemingly impossible practice of forgiveness for the parent who abandoned you, the lover who cheated on you, or the partner who embezzled from you … Start with yourself. What does forgive actually mean?  for·give [fərˈɡiv] VERB To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake: That someone could be YOU. Beyond the definition, a hidden message appears… Continue reading

DO YOU SUFFER FROM T.D.D. (The Dirty Diaper Syndrome) —aka Stuck in Your Own S#!T – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

On the occasion I lay down on the couch to watch T.V., it isn’t long before I am slumped, crumpled into a tight ball, deep asleep, with a little drool slipping from the corner of my mouth. I go down hard and fast.  Then suddenly I’m startled awake. I am cramped and stiff. I know I should get up. I know I’d feel better if I took off my clothes, my makeup, brushed my teeth and slipped under the covers of my comfortable bed, yet moving seems worse. I am inert unable to move. Stuck. STUCKNESS masquerades in a variety of disguises and can start early. I used to babysit a little boy who’d poop in his diaper, but refuse to be changed. He’d cry at the stinging messy feel, but he was so uncertain about “changing” that staying in his dirty diaper seemed better. Truth is we can get… Continue reading

How To Light Your Own Candles – Make Believe, Make Belief: By Tsgoyna Tanzman

“I’m celebrating my birthday”, Amaya, my six year old grand niece informed every waiter at every restaurant she visited during the month of November. At home, she’d announced her intention to celebrate “all month long”. In her short life and experience of celebrating only five birthdays, she was on to the magic of self-acknowledgement. Taking care of herself! She didn’t expect anyone or anything to celebrate her without her orchestration and participation. She carried her own candles in her own little purse; “just in case the restaurant doesn’t have them” –  making certain she was responsible for all the details of her happiness. How responsible are you for the details of your own happiness? We often expect other people and things outside ourselves to make us happy, but the truth is, it is always our responsibility. Derek Rydall, leading edge coach and founder of Emergence, examines the word responsibility and makes it two words:… Continue reading

Combating Stress – Reflexology, Massage & Mindful Living.

With the ever increasing demands on us to function in our high pressure world, many of us find we live in a constant state of high alert and anxiety. I myself, spent over a decade in sustained high stress situations and having to deal with the reality of my shattered life in recovery, without anything to numb the pain was tough. I was constantly physically ill and having type 1 diabetes for 30 years didn’t help. The effects of stress on our bodies generally cannot be avoided. Designed to help us survive under threatening situations, the fight or flight response releases hormones into our system. Oxytocin from the pituitary gland, adrenaline from the adrenal glands and Insulin and glucagon from the pancreas affect our blood sugar, blood pressure and energy levels. When in danger, these hormones secrete into our system to give us the required energy and heightened sensory ability… Continue reading